Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Summer Holidays - Day.... I lost count.... Blame the dog!

Today we officially issued my Mum's West Highland Terrier with a doggie asbo!

This dog has, so far, terrorised our dog (an elderly, asthmatic and toothless cairn terrier with the temperament of a finger of fudge) into complete submission. The poor dog tries to hide at every opportunity whilst the white hound from hell hunts her out. The Baskerville puppy has also scared our cat witless - we haven't seen the fearful feline for four days now after it took one look at Mum's hound and disappeared through the cat flap without even touching the ground. During my sister's Olympic stay she mistakenly lay on the floor to watch the TV and the dog went for her nose and KC dared to try and eat his sandwich without sharing... The dog soon put that right. It eats everyones food except its own and chooses my newest carpet to be sick on.... It's a joy!

But today she took the biscuit (figuratively speaking). Today the troublesome terrier decided it would be a good day to begin yapping in the highest pitch known to mankind (a pitch only used by small animals and Mariah Carey). It began its 'yapfest' at around 10am and carried on throughout the entire day. We had a brief respite when my Mum decided she urgently needed an iPad (she has never even mentioned one before) and we had to find an Apple store immediately for her to purchase one plus all the paraphernalia that goes with it. How this country is in recession when my Mum practically shops as if Olympic gold depended on it I will never know?.... After purchasing the iPad and accessories Mum decided she needed new shoes, some trousers and a bottle of gin to go with it.... I bribed the kids with gingerbread men to keep them moving from store to store...

We then returned to the dog continuing with its record breaking attempt at the world's longest yap. I took her out into the garden to do her 'business' (the dog that is not my Mum) and the crafty canine must have heard our frightened feline trying to sneak home for some food. The yapping started again and the cat fled... Again... I shouted at the damn thing to shut up... Again... And my new neighbours (whom I have yet to meet) stuck their head out of their bedroom window and told me to 'shut that infernal animal up'. They are American I would guess from their accents, that was our first introduction, I have a feeling it may colour our relationship.... I hope my neighbours note there is a 'u' in colour and indeed in 'neighbour'.... You see I am already bickering with them and we haven't met yet! Blame the dog... Two days till it goes home... And by issuing it the doggie asbo I am hereby banning it from returning! Hopefully the neighbours will forgive me in time for thanksgiving.....

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