Friday, 13 July 2012


It seemed inevitable that eventually I would succumb to recording our exploits as a 'slightly' functional yet dysfunctional family. My hits on Facebook were getting to a point that people were logging on to see exactly what we had been up to - so it was suggested I write a blog. Before today I had no idea what a blog was but now I am in here and online and I am quite excited by it all.

I should first explain that my partner and I have adopted two small children - they came to us last year aged 5 and 6 with a slightly skewed idea of the world. They had been neglected and abused by those who should have cared for them and when they were first 'placed' with us it really did feel as though we had two little strangers sitting in our front room. Two strangers to whom we were now related - hence the 'witty' title of my blog.

I guess this will take on the form of a diary of our lives together - but mostly it is about the children and  the things that happen to us as we take our wobbly steps to create a family. There are sometimes slight deviations, such as my 88 year old Nan and her obsession with sexual references in books or our parents and their views on adoption, the boys and mixed race marriages. My partner is Chinese Singaporean and I am boringly British but there you go. Our kids are both British, their lives have been anything but boring, just not in a good way. For the sake of this blog they will be The Sprog (aged 7) and TJ (aged 6). There will be more about myself and my partner later - probably when I have nothing else to write...

So we may as well start where we begin... today. (well, yesterday to be precise....)

July 12th

I took the children to Sainsburys for pre drama dinner (Sprog attends Drama Club every Thursday). The old lady on the table next to ours leaned over and said, 'I must congratulate you on your children's table manners. It's so lovely to see children eating properly and behaving at the table.'
I beamed with pride but no sooner had she spoken when my youngest, TJ, gave his juice box a big squeeze and a stream of bright orange (taste the difference natural juice, naturally) flew across the divide and hit the old lady full in the face. As she sat shell shocked Sprog howled with laughter and knocked the plate of sausage and beans onto his lap..... We quickly left.....

Onto today....

July 13th

Friday July 13th - something is bound to happen. Sprog had his end of term play and on the way he decided to have a full on fight with her little brother in the back of the car. Lovely Daddy (me) quickly became monster Daddy (not me) and ended up screaming at the kids to 'stop it!' (I always promise I will never do again this every time I do it). Both kids skulked into school. Then 20 minutes later the sprog is on stage belting out Gary Barlow's Diamond Jubilee monstrousity 'Sing' in a key not yet discovered by mankind and I am blubbing like a baby thinking how gorgeous he is and how guilty I am for ever shouting at this little ginger angel with buck teeth and huge ears. I am waiting to find out how they went and what TJ got up to today...

Previous Comments from the Facebook 'back-catalogue'

I decided to add in a few of my personal favourite 'incidents involving the family here - then we are all up to date.... Hopefully...

On Gardening...

So I asked the kids to help me by tidying up the rubbish in the garden. I came out a few minutes later and the garden was spotless, no more broken toys or sweet wrappers. 'well done!' I said, 'did you put everything in the recycle bin?'
'no they did not!' came our neighbour Bob's voice from over the fence, 'they just threw it all into my garden' .... Sigh....

On sport...

TJ has told us he no longer likes playing football with his friends.... Apparently those on the other team stop him from scoring goals by blocking him and the goalkeeper kept saving them so he didn't score.... They did this 'deliberately' which he feels is very unfair.

Father's Day

Fathers day and TJ is grumpy... 'why?' I asked. 'because I didn't get any presents' he said. 'But today is for fathers' I said. 'yes' came the reply, 'but without me you wouldn't be a father so I should get a present too.' .... I think I might get him something just for presenting his argument so well!

On Shopping... (these things happen a lot)

Just back from M and S where TJ has shown everyone that he is 'the world's best backwards walker' by walking backwards into a shelf full of wine... Helpfully pushed by Sprog!!!!! Cue an irate Dad, crying TJ, embarrassed shoppers and one very confused trainee assistant.... Such fun!

A lovely Moment

Just got back from the children's harvest festival... TJs class drew pictures to show what they were thankful to god for. Lots of pics of pets, nintendo ds's etc. TJ stood up with a picture of Papa, Daddy and The Sprog and simply said 'I thank god for finding my family' ... I was in tears, his teachers were crying... Makes all the difficulties worthwhile.


  1. Loving the orange old lady!

  2. I love it, brings back amazing memories of these 2 fantastic boys and what a pleasure it was teaching them! Keep them coming Mark

  3. Just happened across your blog this afternoon. What wonderful stories! x

    1. I'm so glad you like it... Hopefully the book will follow soon!