Well, today you get a second post... lucky us I hear you cry!
My youngest and completely unspoilt son came running into the kitchen. "Daddy," he shouted, "Can you hoover the garden please. The long grass keeps making my football bounce in the wrong direction and I don't score." (He obviously will become an England player with remarks like that).
"Certainly, my little cherub." I replied, "Nothing would make me happier." Luckily children don't sense sarcasm but, to be honest, I was already contemplating opening a bottle of nicely chilled wine - so it kept me on the path of sobriety.
I duly mowed the lawn and in between TJ shouted advice on where I had 'missed a patch' or where 'he wanted it to be flatter because thats where his goal is'. As I lugged the trampoline from one side of the garden to the other Lea popped her head out of the door and said, "Don't put it there Daddy, that's in the sun and I will burn." (Why on earth did we pick a ginger kid??????) I smiled and moved it back...
TJ shouted at me as I was mowing the lawn but I couldn't hear him, he mimed peeling a banana. "Yes, you can have a banana." I shouted above the din. Next Lea popped her head out of the door and also mimed the peeling of a banana, "Yes, ok" I yelled. They both went back inside to watch TV while I finished off.
I came back in the house after putting the lawn mower and cable away to find biscuit crumbs all over the floor and an empty pack of digestives - a pack of digestives that had been a full new packet just twenty minutes before. "Who ate those?" I demanded. "We did." said Lea unmovingly, "You said we could.".
I looked at him sternly, "I said you could have a banana, you mimed peeling a banana at me!". Lea looked puzzled, "No, I mimed opening the biscuits," she said, "And you said it was ok."
I shall certainly be speaking to the impossibly cheerful drama teacher in the morning about my eldest child's miming abilities.
I decided to let it go and then turned around.... someone had walked doggy poo right across the kitchen floor. I reddened, "Who did this?" I said firmly. "You did." said TJ, "There's dog poo on your shoe." I looked down and he was right. I reddened in embarrassment this time. "Well, why didn't you tell me?" I scolded him. "I thought you knew," he said and off he toddled to play football on his newly even pitch.
My youngest and completely unspoilt son came running into the kitchen. "Daddy," he shouted, "Can you hoover the garden please. The long grass keeps making my football bounce in the wrong direction and I don't score." (He obviously will become an England player with remarks like that).
"Certainly, my little cherub." I replied, "Nothing would make me happier." Luckily children don't sense sarcasm but, to be honest, I was already contemplating opening a bottle of nicely chilled wine - so it kept me on the path of sobriety.
I duly mowed the lawn and in between TJ shouted advice on where I had 'missed a patch' or where 'he wanted it to be flatter because thats where his goal is'. As I lugged the trampoline from one side of the garden to the other Lea popped her head out of the door and said, "Don't put it there Daddy, that's in the sun and I will burn." (Why on earth did we pick a ginger kid??????) I smiled and moved it back...
TJ shouted at me as I was mowing the lawn but I couldn't hear him, he mimed peeling a banana. "Yes, you can have a banana." I shouted above the din. Next Lea popped her head out of the door and also mimed the peeling of a banana, "Yes, ok" I yelled. They both went back inside to watch TV while I finished off.
I came back in the house after putting the lawn mower and cable away to find biscuit crumbs all over the floor and an empty pack of digestives - a pack of digestives that had been a full new packet just twenty minutes before. "Who ate those?" I demanded. "We did." said Lea unmovingly, "You said we could.".
I looked at him sternly, "I said you could have a banana, you mimed peeling a banana at me!". Lea looked puzzled, "No, I mimed opening the biscuits," she said, "And you said it was ok."
I shall certainly be speaking to the impossibly cheerful drama teacher in the morning about my eldest child's miming abilities.
I decided to let it go and then turned around.... someone had walked doggy poo right across the kitchen floor. I reddened, "Who did this?" I said firmly. "You did." said TJ, "There's dog poo on your shoe." I looked down and he was right. I reddened in embarrassment this time. "Well, why didn't you tell me?" I scolded him. "I thought you knew," he said and off he toddled to play football on his newly even pitch.
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