Saturday, 21 July 2012

The Performance

I was going to leave this until the morning but thought I needed to record as much of tonight as possible whilst I still remembered it.

It began at around 5.30 when we took KC to the Golden Arches for his tea before he went to the theatre to begin his in depth warm up and focussing exercises prior to the big show at 7.30. The bad boys of Sheerness were already out by that time, playing their music loudly with their car windows open and the bass line throbbing. I turned the music up and wound the windows down on the family saloon. The bad boys looked in awe as we drove through their 'hood with 'Don't Rain on My Parade' blasting out.... It was the Glee version so we knew we were down with the kids. "Now that's truly 'radical' and 'out there'" I told the children. I'm not sure if they heard as Papa was singing in falsetto and they both seemed to have their hoods pulled over their heads. Obviously trying to mimic the hoodie behaviour of the bad boys of Sheerness.

Anyhow, the time soon came for the performance itself. The moment had arrived. The theatre was packed and without any air conditioning or indeed air vents of any kind the theatre was also infernally hot! Now I don't know if you have ever sat with a six year old in a hot theatre before, particularly a six year old who has his own, very different, take on the world but, as the man in front of us soon learned, it certainly isn't dull.

Whilst KC is born to be a performer ( believe me I know) TJ is born to be a critic. A very vocal critic. Thank goodness the impossibly cheerful drama teacher, who did seem a little testy this evening, had seen fit to put us at the back of the sweltering auditorium. As we took our seats the man from St John's ambulance came and sat in the empty corner seat beside us, he had heart defibrillators, oxygen, the works. They were obviously expecting it to be an exciting night of heart stopping action. I had already prepared myself and in the event of an emergency would be rushing up and down the aisles shouting 'Somebody do something, he's tachicardic!' I've seen that on Casualty so know its definitely authentic.

The opening number finishes to rapturous applause from the overly enthusiastic parents to which TJ shouts, 'Why are they clapping, that was rubbish!" I laughingly told him that at the theatre we clap after each performance to show the actors we like it. "After each one? He asked incredulously, "How many are there?". The man in front of me slipped his fist into his own mouth.

A young lady came on and bravely did a monologue about the trials of being a pregnant woman with heavy shopping. TJ said, quite loudly, "she's not really pregnant, she's faking it. You can see that's not a real baby in her!" and when she got a round of applause he retorted, "I don't know why they like it, she's a liar!" the man in front of me was now practically swallowing his arm as Papa and I tried to quieten our outspoken son.

KC made his appearance, a rather amazing robot followed by a scene stealing vampire. He was truly awesome and the fact he lifted her cape to look at the audience despite being killed with garlic was a minor glitch and anyway you could put it down to being a death twitch, in which case he was definitely in the moment. He waited until the audience applause and laughter died down before he delivered his last killer line, "I'll be back to get you. You meddling kids". A true pro!!!!!!

TJ enjoyed his brothers performance tremendously. KC delivered his final line and TJ said "Right, we've seen him can we go now?" this was obviously a sentiment shared by most of the parents as they all looked wistfully in his direction. At least I'm pretty sure that's what they were all thinking as I smiled back at everyone.

Two young ladies came on and had a fight on stage.... Don't worry it was part of the performance, not just a Saturday night in Sheerness. Well, TJ loved this, "that was really good." he cried as the girls left the stage and he regaled the audience with a blow by blow account of the entire fight scene whilst the next performer tried to perform a solo dance about her battle with annorexia, or something like that. By now I was dying of embarrassment and the man in font of me was biting the back of the chair in front of him. The audience broke into rapturous applause at the end of the young lady's tortuous routine and Tyler immediately admonished them. "Can you please stop that clapping, " he shouted at the audience, "It's giving me a headache!" It was at this point that Papa had moved a seat further down and was trying to pretend he was with the group of very blonde and amazingly tanned ladies next to him.

The finale came round, none too soon. TJ clapped long and hard and as the curtain went down he said, "That was brilliant, can we come again tomorrow?" I looked at him, "To be honest," I said, "I have a feeling we have possibly been barred from the theatre for life." TJ shrugged. As I say, they don't get sarcasm yet.....

1 comment:

  1. Who is this amazing drama teacher?? She sounds brilliant...........and very pretty!! Xx p.s cj did indeed steal the scenes!!!! Xxxx