Well, it's finally here - but the time seems to have flown. I can't believe we are at the end of another school year.
This morning I rushed off down the gym for my last session for six weeks - my trainer was there today, I havent seen her for a few days and I found out why. She had slipped while running on the treadmill and flew into the weight machine behind her damaging her back and the ligaments in her arm. Ouch... I stifled my grin as she regailed the gory details. Then she said the most amazing thing, "You," she paused dramatically, "have lost weight" - my inner goddess tumbled in joy as I realised that this sado masochistic skinny and stunningly beautiful woman was talking to me, I had already signed her contract agreeing to the pain she would inflict upon me using these hideous machines and now she was actually complimenting me without requiring me to reciprocate in any way... on my! .....(oh wait I seem to have channelled Fifty Shades of Something or other - not that I have ever read that book and I join in with all those literary types who trash it but secretly read it on the Kindle to find out what all the fuss is about... £3.03 on Kindle, bargain... I digress). No, she genuinely said that to me and I beamed at her. "Yes," she said, "I can see it in your face." and off she tottered to a stationary bicycle. Stationary bicycle, I can't even say that without thinking of a static caravan... whats the point of a static caravan, surely caravan implies travel and bicycle implies... well, bicycling??? Anyway, my gym is state of the art and the stationary bike has an inbuilt fan. Apparently its to keep you cool, but I use it to give the illusion of movement as it blows my hair behind me in a sensual manner... Oh wait that's Fifty Shades again. Anyhow, my point is that I do not slog it out at the gym in order to have a skinny face. I like my face as it is, its the rest of my body that seems to have taken on a life of its own. I turned the big 40 and suddenly when I sat on a beach I would find myself surrounded by Greenpeace types helpfully trying to push me back into the water whilst squirting me with a hose to keep my skin moist!
I had to take a phone call today from a Supply Teacher (I work supplying teachers to schools). She had taken umbridge that one of the schools where I placed her had called to complain that she wasn't quite what they had expected. I chatted, at great length, with the offending teacher regarding lesson plans, classroom management etc. We couldn't find any reason why the school would have said this.
"Not to worry," I told her, "I'll investigate it and get to the bottom of it all." I was just about to hang up when she suddenly said "You don't think it was because I was dressed as a clown that they complained do you?"
"I'm sorry," I replied, "You went to cover a day in a primary school working with a Year 4 group doing science dressed as a clown?"
"Yes," she replied, "I do amateur dramatics and sometimes I like to go in as a character, I find it helps break the ice and on that day I went in as Bobo the clown"
"So", I slowly said, "let me get this straight, did you call the school to see if this would be ok with them? Did you get changed in the school after checking they would like this? Did you check with anyone before you launched into your Bobo routine?"
"No," she replied, "I turned up in my full clown costume, bounced into the staffroom and shouted 'Hi there everyone, my names Bobo!'" she paused, "I guess they might not have liked that."
"My guess is that they didn't" I told her "I think from now on Bobo should stay firmly in the closet and could you please run any of your 'dramatic' ideas by me before you try them out on an unsuspecting school." We agreed that would be the best course of action.
After that strange phone call I went to collect the children from school. As I said yesterday, our kids all finished straight after lunch.
We had taken the teachers their presents and cards and we were about to leave when one of the teachers came rushing out, it was the teacher who had TJ for this year but had also had KC last year, so knew us when we first became a family. "I just wanted to give you a present," he said, "I'm leaving today but I wanted to keep in touch and stay updated with their progress." He then gave each child a beautiful picture book each and inside he had written "To a truly inspirational family, good luck on your journeys together". It was lovely. I welled up a bit. TJ quietly slipped his hand in mine and said, "Don't cry Daddy it's only a book....I wanted a DS". We shall have a chat about being grateful this evening.
We have just had tea in the garden - how very British. Sandwiches and those tubes of yogurt. TJ squeezed his tube and it bursts. Sending yogurt everywhere... mainly in my direction. The kids were stunned and there was that incredible silence where they are not sure if I am going to be angry or laugh. Then KC looked at me and started to giggle. Then TJ laughed and I did too... I was covered, I looked like I had developed some strange skin condition. Its taken me twenty minutes to get it out of my hair, but it was worth it to see the boys laughing so much! Mind you it will probably smell later.
Off to drama now, KC has an evening class - his big production is on Saturday and we are all very excited!
This morning I rushed off down the gym for my last session for six weeks - my trainer was there today, I havent seen her for a few days and I found out why. She had slipped while running on the treadmill and flew into the weight machine behind her damaging her back and the ligaments in her arm. Ouch... I stifled my grin as she regailed the gory details. Then she said the most amazing thing, "You," she paused dramatically, "have lost weight" - my inner goddess tumbled in joy as I realised that this sado masochistic skinny and stunningly beautiful woman was talking to me, I had already signed her contract agreeing to the pain she would inflict upon me using these hideous machines and now she was actually complimenting me without requiring me to reciprocate in any way... on my! .....(oh wait I seem to have channelled Fifty Shades of Something or other - not that I have ever read that book and I join in with all those literary types who trash it but secretly read it on the Kindle to find out what all the fuss is about... £3.03 on Kindle, bargain... I digress). No, she genuinely said that to me and I beamed at her. "Yes," she said, "I can see it in your face." and off she tottered to a stationary bicycle. Stationary bicycle, I can't even say that without thinking of a static caravan... whats the point of a static caravan, surely caravan implies travel and bicycle implies... well, bicycling??? Anyway, my gym is state of the art and the stationary bike has an inbuilt fan. Apparently its to keep you cool, but I use it to give the illusion of movement as it blows my hair behind me in a sensual manner... Oh wait that's Fifty Shades again. Anyhow, my point is that I do not slog it out at the gym in order to have a skinny face. I like my face as it is, its the rest of my body that seems to have taken on a life of its own. I turned the big 40 and suddenly when I sat on a beach I would find myself surrounded by Greenpeace types helpfully trying to push me back into the water whilst squirting me with a hose to keep my skin moist!
I had to take a phone call today from a Supply Teacher (I work supplying teachers to schools). She had taken umbridge that one of the schools where I placed her had called to complain that she wasn't quite what they had expected. I chatted, at great length, with the offending teacher regarding lesson plans, classroom management etc. We couldn't find any reason why the school would have said this.
"Not to worry," I told her, "I'll investigate it and get to the bottom of it all." I was just about to hang up when she suddenly said "You don't think it was because I was dressed as a clown that they complained do you?"
"I'm sorry," I replied, "You went to cover a day in a primary school working with a Year 4 group doing science dressed as a clown?"
"Yes," she replied, "I do amateur dramatics and sometimes I like to go in as a character, I find it helps break the ice and on that day I went in as Bobo the clown"
"So", I slowly said, "let me get this straight, did you call the school to see if this would be ok with them? Did you get changed in the school after checking they would like this? Did you check with anyone before you launched into your Bobo routine?"
"No," she replied, "I turned up in my full clown costume, bounced into the staffroom and shouted 'Hi there everyone, my names Bobo!'" she paused, "I guess they might not have liked that."
"My guess is that they didn't" I told her "I think from now on Bobo should stay firmly in the closet and could you please run any of your 'dramatic' ideas by me before you try them out on an unsuspecting school." We agreed that would be the best course of action.
After that strange phone call I went to collect the children from school. As I said yesterday, our kids all finished straight after lunch.
We had taken the teachers their presents and cards and we were about to leave when one of the teachers came rushing out, it was the teacher who had TJ for this year but had also had KC last year, so knew us when we first became a family. "I just wanted to give you a present," he said, "I'm leaving today but I wanted to keep in touch and stay updated with their progress." He then gave each child a beautiful picture book each and inside he had written "To a truly inspirational family, good luck on your journeys together". It was lovely. I welled up a bit. TJ quietly slipped his hand in mine and said, "Don't cry Daddy it's only a book....I wanted a DS". We shall have a chat about being grateful this evening.
We have just had tea in the garden - how very British. Sandwiches and those tubes of yogurt. TJ squeezed his tube and it bursts. Sending yogurt everywhere... mainly in my direction. The kids were stunned and there was that incredible silence where they are not sure if I am going to be angry or laugh. Then KC looked at me and started to giggle. Then TJ laughed and I did too... I was covered, I looked like I had developed some strange skin condition. Its taken me twenty minutes to get it out of my hair, but it was worth it to see the boys laughing so much! Mind you it will probably smell later.
Off to drama now, KC has an evening class - his big production is on Saturday and we are all very excited!
I've just heard from Bobo......
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