Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Civil Ceremonies & Civil Celebrations

Today, I have decided that we should have a joint renewal of our Civil Partnership vows alongside a naming ceremony for the children and make it our own 'Family Day'.

I dont know if that sounds naff or not but when Papa and I got married we had to do it within 8weeks as Papa, being a Singaporean, had to ensure his marital status in order to stay in the UK. This was partly because the bank where he works and who transferred him back over to the UK assumed that as he and I had been together for so long that he would automatically get PR status, or similar. However, Singapore being such sticklers for 'box ticking' had refused to recognise our 4 years realtionship in their country and therefore, according to UK laws, we had to get married in order for Papa to get the visa and take up the job he had been transferred to do. Such a rush....

All very complicated, but the upshot was that we got married so quickly only my immediate family could make it. We had a ceremony, which lasted about 15minutes, and then Papa and I headed off on the Eurostar to Paris for our honeymoon.. with my Mother, my brother and my sister and both of their partners. It was greeat fun but not entirely romantic and it fell a bit short of being either Papa's or my 'dream day'. But we always said, that once we got a family, we would redo everything properly.

Of course, we didn't count on the ridiculous legal system surrounding adoption and the fact that we have now had our adoption hearing delayed by almost 6 months due to the birth mother's objection. (see previous posts). But it is almost August 31st, the date upon which she and her lawyers have to have submitted their statements - as yet they havent submitted anything, I dont want to tempt fate but hopefully she will have been advised that, to date, no adoption order has ever been rejected due to the wishes of the failed birth parents.... as yet...

Anyhow, I realised that on Nov 24, Papa and I will have been married for 6 years and this year Nov 24 is on a Saturday... so I have decided that gives the courts plenty of time to sort everything out - our case is heard again on Sept 19th, and that we can then have our 'Wedding and Naming Ceremony' on the same day, ideally on our anniversary - it also only gives Papa one date to remember as he is notoriously rubbish at remembering our anniversary. I recall our 4th anniversary, fruit and flowers, I had prepared a four course meal each with a different theme and accompanying gift... Papa had forgotten and when he walked through the door and saw the festive table he looked shellshocked and as the penny dropped he suddenly exclaimed, "But we said we weren't going to celebrate this year - no gifts!" I knew this was a poor excuse simply because those words would never have come out of my mouth...

But back to my original topic, I would like to have a traditional Christening for the children but I'm not sure if the church would allow it, our local lady vicar said she would do it so hopefully we can ask if she would conduct that part of the ceremony, even if she wouldn't be able do the Civil Partnership side. Hopefully, God appreciates what Papa and I mean to each other and what we mean as family.

Well, my decision has been made - now I just have to find an available venue and let Papa know - after all, he will be paying for it!!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment