Easter Holidays and Illness Do Not Mix....

I have a cold...
TJ has a cold..
And as of this morning, Lea has a cold as well. We are up to our ears (and noses) in snot!

Unfortunately TJ has had the cold for the entire week - and being asthmatic it tends to go straight to his chest which means he spends much of the night lying awake and coughing - and if TJ is awake then so are we!

Papa has been great this weekend though - he looked after TJ for most of the night on Saturday evening and on Sunday morning he sent me back to bed whilst he got on with being the parent in charge. I even got a coffee in bed although I was summonsed to prepare lunch - which is a good job otherwise our Sunday roast would probably have been take out pizza... I am not a fan of giving the children junk food, although it would probably have been a popular choice as there would have been little or no chance of brussels sprouts appearing on the plate.

But this morning Papa had to return to work as normal - although I imagine he was glad of the rest. However, Lea decided to fill Papa's shoes and bring me a cup of tea. It was very sweet of her but then I remembered that she is not allowed to use the kettle, so I prepared to get angry with her. 'It's ok, Daddy,' she said, pre-empting my rage,' I didn't use the kettle I just waited until the tap got really hot and used that water.' I smiled benevolently and sipped the lukewarm dishwater masquerading as tea... 'delicious,' I smiled as I sipped the tepid pale brew. She stood smiling at me watching me drink it for what seemed like an eternity before she left the room and I could tip it away.

The holiday is now dragging - the British weather doesn't help. We went for a walk - just to get out of the house and TJ had barely taken four steps before declaring that it was too cold to be outside and that we should get our exercise courtesy of the wii in the comfort of the playroom. TJ loves the wii... especially the football games.. although he has to win and if he doesn't then tears follow - we have a box of tissues on standby ned to the console just in case.

Oh well, I am killing time while parenting the best way I can when I am under the weather. One child is in front of the TV the other is on the... yes, you've guessed it... the wii!

Easter Holidays and an April Fool

Well, Easter at Granny's went without any real problems. The children were as good as gold. We even took them to the local church for the Easter service. It was the same vicar that baptised the kids last year so TJ was a little concerned that he was going to have his 'hair washed' again. However, he soon got a little excited when we told him we were going to be singing in church. 'I hope we sing Lord of the Dance," he said, 'Or Give Me Oil in My Lamp, I know those two." He wasn't too happy when Granny explained that the vicar probably didn't take requests. I, on the other hand hand, spent much of the service concerned that TJ was going to stand up at any point and either give his critique or demand his request is sung.

The rest of the long weekend was lovely, even my mother's ASBO dog behaved herself, most of the time - the children ate far too much chocolate, which was to be expected. But we were able to use the chocolate as a bribe for anything - vegetables that needed to be eaten, chores that needed doing - I love Easter!

Easter Monday was a Bank Holiday here in the UK, it was also April Fool's Day - I love April Fool's Day - but all my friends are now wise to my tricks - Papa even has an alarm in his iphone that warns him that the day is approaching. That's because one year, early in our relationship, I put all the clocks forward three hours in the house and when the alarm went off at his usual time of '6am' Papa quickly got up in a bleary state muttering about how ridiculous it was to be up so early in the dark and how he felt like he hadn't slept a wink. I waited until he was in the shower before I shouted out 'April Fool! and told him it was in fact only 3am! He wasn't best pleased.

Or my friend back in Singapore - where as actors we had clothing sponsors - usually Guess or Top Man (such glamour) well, I called my friend and told him he had to get down to the main Hugo Boss store before 12 as they were to be our new sponsors and he had to choose the clothes he required for the next photo shoot. I was in hysterics when he called me from the store saying that he had selected his clothes and gone to the counter with them - but they had tried to charge him and no-one knew about the 'sponsorship deal.'

Another friend got a text from me asking when I could buy tickets to her 'one night only' concert in Singapore, I told her I had seen the full page ad in the Straits Times that morning - she got such a shock that she ran down to the local store in her dressing gown to buy a copy of the paper. she called me back to ask where the advertisement was - I directed her to a page and told her to look at the date... I howled... so did she, although hers was in anger... Actors are so easy to fool, especially if they think it is about them!!!!!

My favourite though was when I prank called a female friend and told her I was a DJ from a London radio station and if she knew 'The phrase that pays' before I called back she could win £1000. She spent the next five minutes running round her house waking her flatmates up to see if anyone listened to this station and if they knew the phrase before I called back again at 7am. I wasn't welcome in that house for a long time!

This year I have two new 'suckers' - my kids! They spent nearly an hour in Granny's back garden looking for the Easter Monday 'surprise golden egg' that Granny had hidden out there. When I finally shouted out 'April Fool' CJ looked at me in complete disgust and slammed his way back into the house.TJ simply stared at me and said, 'Very funny.. now where have you hidden that egg?" I don't think he has quite got the concept of a practical joke yet....

Easter in School

Both kids attend a lovely local church school and yesterday was a day of Easter activities, including a drama activities surrounding the Easter story. Being a little dramatic in nature the school asked me if I was able to help out and assist the school curate's wife - who was running the creative side of things.

It was great that so many people from outside the school were involved and the place was buzzing with activity.

Anyway, I was charged with leading the groups of children through four of the stations of the cross, the Garden of Gethsemane, Calvary, the tomb and finally to the steps outside the infants toilet to sing 'Lord of The Dance' in honour of the Resurrection. It was all very sweet - if a little dark and really really cold. The little ones were all given a paper cross to carry and then take home, of course as soon as they were given them all the little boys started 'sword fighting' - which made me smile. Then as my group moved on we were followed by another group led by other volunteers - which included Lea. We went to Calvary and three children were picked to be Jesus and the thieves - TJ was very upset that he wasn't chosen. He told me later that he had expected to be picked as I was helping and he would have made a very good thief. I pointed out that I don't encourage nepotism, I think he took that on board.... well, he scowled at me anyway.

Then we moved on and I heard Lea's group making a noise behind us and turned round to see the teacher leading that group telling Lea that it wasn't appropriate for him to be the 'one who nails Jesus up" in the play. And sure enough there was Lea pretending to hammer the nails into the boy playing Jesus's palms... I hurried on and we finished with our rounding rendition of Lord of the Dance and of course no-one noticed TJ and his friends shouting out 'Settee' instead of 'said he'....

After all the excitement we rushed off to pick up TJ's keyboard. He has started piano lessons, although he is a little miffed that after his first lesson he is still not able to play a discernible tune!!!! But he seems pretty keen. We bought him an electronic keyboard with a microphone... which was a big mistake as whilst TJ hammers out his middle c (the only note he knows) Lea uses the microphone to practise 'beatboxing'.

This morning both boys were really sweet - it's the last day of term before the Easter break and chocolate is at risk if they are naughty - Lea looked at me and said 'Daddy, you have definitely lost weight. I can put my arms all the way round you now and I couldn't before.' - she beamed as she gave me this weird compliment. As I turned away though I heard TJ whisper to his sister, 'I think you have probably grown and your arms have just got longer.' I pretended not to hear that....

Off to Granny's tonight for the Easter weekend... let's see how that goes!

Wine and Beer

Today it is freezing cold - for all those of you living in warmer climates do please spare a thought for us Brits who are experiencing minus 5 degree weather at the end of March - its crazy! As I type the wind is whistling around the house.

Needless to say the kids are not too impressed, particularly as we have had no significant snow and they still have to go to school. TJ is constantly whinging about how cold it is... TJ doesn't 'do' the cold. But in Singapore he spent most of the time asking why it was so hot... He is very British, talks incessantly about the weather and hates foreign food! (unless its German sausages of course!)

Last night we were able to celebrate a small victory in out fight for adoption support. Yes, the council agreed to backdate our adoption allowances and pay the legal fees, although as the Ombudsman pointed out, this is what we are entitled too - they still have to agree compensation etc. But, it was a small victory. Until Papa took all the money out of my account and used it to pay off some of the massive debt I managed to incur since I stopped working... apparently I will 'spend it if its in my account!'... to be fair, I probably would!

Anyhow, we opened a lovely bottle of wine to celebrate - which I drank most of. I'm on a diet at the moment and wine is off limits - so I indulged... well, over indulged really. This morning getting up was pretty tough. We rushed out the door and TJ had forgotten his football kit - naturally. 'Let's go back and get it!", I snapped at the little lad on the way to school. Then I heard Lea turn to her brother and say, 'I think Daddy had too much beer last night, he is over hung." I then had to point out to Lea that I don't drink beer, except when its hot and sunny - which it certainly is not at the moment! But it does show how much Lea recalls - her birth family were all alcoholics and I would imagine that wine wasn't their preferred tipple.

Then I returned home to find the man had come to repair all the french windows - which have been leaking since we moved in... 6 months ago!!!!!!  Of course, this involve having all the doors in the entire house pen - so now it is minus 5 inside as well as out!!!!!! He laughed as he said, 'When we booked this in we thought it would be sunny - good job I've got my thermals on!" - I haven't got any thermals as I don't usually leave the house when its freezing!!!!!

Holding out for a Hero!

This week was parents evening at school. And, as expected, I ended up being there for over an hour. I always book in the last few slots and ensure that I am at the end. It's not that I am overly concerned but I am fully aware that my kids will take up quite a bit of 'discussion' time and I would hate have to follow me. I know this from experience, in our first parents evening I took quite an early slot and ended up with a group of 'politely' angry parents sitting behind me, waiting their turn and discussing (quite loudly) how long I had been there. I now get there the day the signing up sheets go on the board and check that I am at the very end!

There was a lot of discussion this week about Special Needs programmes, for both kids now though. We always knew that TJ has a learning difficulty through his special needs and that Lea was a bit delayed, due to her experiences in early life. However, recently, Lea has been slipping further and further behind and we have had a series of assessments - which have resulted in a diagnosis of a severe form of dyslexia which effects her memory, number and word recognition. But the school were great in showing me where to get help and in putting in one to one tuition for her from next term. Lea was so pleased when we sat her down and explained what it all meant. She simply looked at me and Papa and said, 'Well, at least I know why I am stupid now." My heart went out to her and we sat with her to explain that she wasn't stupid but that she had a problem that we could now help her with. In many ways I am so relieved to know that it is a 'condition', to be honest, we were beginning to worry. After all, no matter what he has been through in her short life, we still have to help her get on with the future and she has to learn how to cope. I'm sure all parents feel the same...

On a lighter note, whilst I was looking through TJ's work I came cross a page in his literacy work which  had focussed on the heroes and heroines in our lives. Last year Lea had completed the same work and had noted that her hero was Michael Jackson, to which the teacher added the comment, 'an interesting choice.' I don't know where his love of MJ comes from but I am introducing her to the incredible "Off the Wall' album before she gets caught up in the Thriller video (which I think has a lot to do with her love of the star.) However, I digress, TJ had this year chosen his hero - and it was me! He had written, 'My Daddy is my hero because he stops me from falling down and hurting myself." Then he had added, 'And Papa is too." (I chose not to see that last bit - obviously it was all about me!).

But it shows that TJ does have deep feelings for us - he is a very withdrawn child who is not open to expression, he hates cuddles and kissing - such a boy! But it also stems from his special needs. However, for him to publicly recognise us is a huge step - and following on from his Mother's Day drawing of us it does give us hope that we are doing the right things....

Farewell Cousin...

So the children said farewell to their Singaporean cousin this weekend. They were pretty upset but were soon diverted by a trip to London's large toy store, Hamleys. In fact we managed to do our farewells just outside the shop and the kids were practically pulling our arms off to get inside.

Although, afterwards he first person they wanted to show their presents too was their uber cool cousin. (who by now was probably being severely reprimanded by his Dad for being suspended from school. But that's another story.)

The upshot is that, due to the fact we live in the middle of nowhere, cousin M has decided that he would like to come back for his study break. Obviously, he managed to get quite a bit of studying done whilst he was with us - well, whilst the children were at school anyway. So we look forward to seeing him then, providing his mother doesn't barbecue him over the Easter break.

The remainder of the weekend has been spent in domestic bliss... well, we like to think of it as bliss, in reality I cleaned out all the animal cages - the kids have practically a zoo as you know - oddly enough they don't seem to show the same enthusiasm for their pets when it comes to cleaning out time, leaving me with up to my elbows in guinea pig/rabbit droppings and smelly sawdust. Does Papa help? well usually I would say no, its usually about this time that he finds something really important that needs doing immediately. However, yesterday he decided to help TJ clean out his guinea pig... however, rather than taking the cage into the garage, as we would normally do, he decided that he would clean it out in TJ's bedroom... Needless to say, the bedroom ended up covered in sawdust and stank to high heaven.

I brought the hoover up to clean the mess left behind by TJ and Papa... and Benjy the guinea pig of course. TJ took one look at the vacuum cleaner and suddenly asked me if he could use it. I looked at him, "Are you sure you want to clean the floor?" I asked. "Please, please, can I do it?" He was practically begging me. I put on my best 'I'm not sure' look. "I don't know if you'll be able to clean the whole room," I said. "I can," he implored, 'I can do the whole upstairs if you want."I thought about it. "Ok", I told him, "If you can clean the whole floor upstairs properly, then I will let you use the vacuum cleaner."

He was so pleased and spent nearly half an hour cleaning, moving furniture to get to the dust, checking for dirt. By the end he asked me if he could stop as his arms were hurting. I checked his handiwork. "That's pretty good," I told him. He beamed, "Can I help you again?" he asked. "Of course you can!" I said - inside I was grinning from ear to ear. "Great,' he replied, "that was more fun than playing Skylanders!"

If only we had known yesterday we could have saved a fortune in Hamleys!

Cool Cousin...

This week we have had our nephew to stay for a few days. He is 18 and studying in the UK in a boarding school near Cambridge. He is Papa's nephew so is a good Singaporean student, well he was until he got suspended. It was a pretty trivial offence but one which could have had serious consequences. So a suspension for him and his friends (who were also involved) for the remainder of the week.

As his guardians we were contacted on Monday and on Tuesday morning, despite the snow, I went over to the station and picked him and his enormous luggage up.

He hasn't been any trouble at all - in fact I think he is more concerned over what his parents will say than over the huge amounts of studying that he has had to bring with him. His father flew over from Singapore on Wednesday and is staying in London, we felt it best to keep the nephew here until the weekend, to finish his work and let his father calm down. Luckily, his Dad is here for work so he has been pretty occupied himself. However, tomorrow is Saturday...

The upside is that the children have got to know their Singaporean cousin really well - in fact, I think its fair to say there is a fair amount of hero worship going on, particularly from TJ, who is currently sitting with his cousin watching Transformers - Lea is still at after school club so the boys can watch a grown up ' film together.

Like most teenagers, our nephew seems to exist on a diet of cheese and ham toasties, crisps and coca cola. This has rubbed off onto the kids, not the coca cola, I still don't allow them to have that - I've told them when they are 10 they may consume the caffeinated evil juice, but not before. However, despite TJ's supposed hatred of cheese, the toastie machine has never been off!

As well as this, our nephew has cool headphones and an ipod - well, Lea is in her element, especially when he downloaded Michael Jackson for her. Lea loves MJ, and now knows all the words to Thriller!

The nephew even took the children to school this morning, which meant I could go over to an all boys school and teach 15 years olds drama - 15year olds who desperately wanted to be somewhere else. It was weird going back to teach for my old company, but quite fun to just walk away afterwards... and I'll get paid. although I think Papa will take that money off me as soon as it comes in. He gave me a £10 note this morning to 'go and buy some cat litter with and treat myself to a coffee with the change"... I am blessed!

Well, our nephew goes back up to London tomorrow - we will take him and have lunch with his Dad and the kids, hopefully, that will ease the transition before we have to leave the poor teenager with his folks. Oh well, he has to face the music. If you do the crime and all that!!!!!!

He has said that he will come down on his next study leave - so he can spend more time with his cousins. Its nice to know the kids are so accepted by nearly all of the family....

Snow Day in March

Today, the children are off school.

That's it end of post... I no longer have time to do anything.. yet, I need to finish an essay, work on my book, write the blog... oh well, one out of three isn't bad...

I got the kids up this morning and we took it quite leisurely, I thought school would be closed due to the half centimetre of snow outside. So I was quite surprised to get a text saying that school wold be open for those who could get in. We got dressed in record time, pulled on boots and winter warmers (hats, scarves, gloves) and trudged off to the school gates hauling an unwilling dog behind us.

We had just about reached the gates when I noticed the other brave parents (about 8 of them) were now trudging back from school still with their children. I was a little perturbed by this and was soon told that school was now going to close after all. No sooner had this poor mother told me, through her tears (obviously of joy at having her three children at home with her for the day) than my phone buzzed with a text telling me that due to the deteriorating weather school was now closed. Great!

Oh well, we trudged our way back hauling a very confused dog behind us. The children stopped for a quick snowball fight - although I don't know if the BT man who was working on a telephone line was particularly amused to be the target of their icy projectiles...  I smiled and waved at him as he waved back at me - he must have been working as he could only use one finger to wave. Lovely to see that the British spirit of fun is still alive and well...

We came home and started to build a snowman in the garden - that turned into another snowball fight - with me as the main target.Luckily they soon got cold and wanted to come in - when did kids get so soft... in my day we would have been out there for hours... well, we would have had to have been as my Mother would have locked the door...

They are now sitting behind me - I asked for five minutes just to have a cup of tea and write my blog. As soon as I sat down Lea pounded TJ with her spiderman toy and TJ threw the bat mobile at her.

Last night, TJ decide he would play superheroes in his bedroom - he decided to swing from the curtains and ended up in a heap on the floor with the curtain rail on his head Luckily, Papa was late home from work due to the snow upsetting the British transport system so TJ got off lightly... He has a lamp post outside his room which he now thinks is his own huge night light! Hopefully, today we can get the curtains fixed... if we can get out of the front door of course, the snow is now at least two centimetres high.... I hope my shopping arrives - I did an emergency online shop last night before the big freeze - it is March after all!!!!!!!

Mothers Day Part 2.... The Main Event

After Friday's rather emotional blog post regarding Lea and her relationship with his birth mother, which had a huge impact, thank you, today's post focuses mainly on TJ and his attitude to the big day...

Today is Mother's Day in the UK and this morning as I was getting the children their breakfast and beginning to prepare for Sunday day lunch (food is a big deal in our home) the lady on the television remarked that this morning most Mums should be watching her from the comfort of their beds with a cup of tea brought in by their loving children.

TJ came over and gave me a huge hug (which is quite unusual for him) and said, "We should have brought you a cup of tea and made your breakfast, you are like my Mum because you do everything a Mum would do.' Whilst I could question his gender stereotyping... Instead I simply smiled, both inside and out. For TJ this was a huge admission, that he needs anyone. Since he arrived he has been completely independent, but not in a positive way. He doesn't think he 'needs' anyone.., except Lea of course. In his mind grown ups are not to be trusted, especially grown ups who tell you they love you, after all they either hurt you or 'give you away' (for want of abetter phrase). Why should he trust anyone except Lea, after all only she has been with him through everything. Oddly enough I heard from the childrens last foster carer after Friday's blog post, she pointed out that as of this month the kids have lived with us longer than they have been anywhere else. So it was funny that TJ should suddenly be so loving at this time, maybe subconsciously he is aware that this is now his forever home....

Then this morning another friend posted on Facebook a picture TJ had drawn for Mothers Day. It was a picture of me.. Titled 'Dad'. And it simply read.. 'I love my Daddy.' For many 'normal' families those would be words they hear all the time and take for granted. For us, this was a huge step. TJ occasionally tells us he 'loves' us, usually when he wants something, but he would never tell other people about his feelings for us, so this is a massive step!

Today, Lea has still been very quiet and is keeping herself to herself, we are letting her deal with it in her own way but se knows we are here for her if she wants us... A mixed bag of emotions... Oh well, I'll just get on with Sunday lunch..... Just like Mother used to make!!!

Mothers Day....

This has never really been an issue for us before - the children make things at school for their Granny, but this year things have seemed a little different. Maybe its part of the settling in process or a form of grieving for the past.

However, this morning on the radio there was a Mothers Day special, a phone in for children to tell their Mum's how much they loved them. My immediate reaction was to turn it off but at the same time I didn't want to be making a big deal out of it. So I left it on. The radio presenter was saying that the children could also call in to thank their foster mums, or Grannies or any lady that was special in their life so I thought it would be ok. Of course, once the children started phoning in they were all telling their Mum's how much they loved them - it was quite sweet but I could sense that Lea was listening just a little too hard.

TJ didn't seem to care. He just got on with life as normal. He asked if he could have his £2 pocket money early so he could buy Granny a Mother's Day present. The PTA run a stall each year to raise funds and the children buy little gifts and sweets with profits going back to the school. I thought this was very sweet of him and gave him his pocket money. I asked Lea if she wanted to buy anything for Granny, she simply shook her head. I decided not to push it.

I know that Lea has some fond memories of her Mum - she was four when he went into care, so had built a relationship, no matter how chaotic. I recall reading the Primary Wound (its not my favourite book about adoption) but one thing that always stuck with me was when the author noted the example of the child sitting in the hospital bed with third degree burns crying for his Mum, even though it was his Mum that poured he petrol over him and lit the match. Its a horrifying analogy but one which helps me to understand how Lea must be feeling.

Lea then asked if she could go and see her rabbit. I followed her into the garage after a couple of minutes to find her hugging her rabbit in floods of tears. I asked her what the matter was, but of course she couldn't tell me. She doesn't want to upset me. I'm sure she thinks that if she tells me she is missing her Mum (or what she remembers her Mum to be like) then it will mean she loves me less, or that she is in some way betraying Papa and I. My therapist told me that gay Dad's often make better adopters for older children as they don't have the 'issues' of being a second Mum. I'm not sure how true that is. I still get jealous knowing that this woman allowed my child to come to so much harm. But I am going to be able to sit with Lea later and talk about hierbirth Mum and know she is completely separate to us.

TJ has after school club today so at least I will have a couple of hours to sit and chat with our older child.

I guess Lea is grieving for a life he has lost. No matter what I think of that woman, she was still her Mum and for the first couple of years I think she really tried to be a good parent - she just didn't know how and when she met TJ's Dad it all fell apart. It was unfortunate that it was Lea that took the brunt of her and her partner's abuse but we will help her get through it.

Mother's Day maybe the one day each year that we sit and talk about Lea's memories of her - both good and bad. I think it is important that we emphasise the good (no matter how hard it is for me to hear) as that is where the children came from and if we only look at the bad the message they will eventually receive is that they must be bad too... If that makes sense.

I read the later life letter the other day - and it is truly horrific... this is a letter designed to give to the children when they are older which gives them the truth about their past.... I only hope that when they read it they are secure enough to be able to deal with it....

On a happier note Granny will have some lovely chocolates. TJ adores Granny, I only wish we lived nearer so he could see her more often. So does he, then she might share the Moshi Monster chocolates with him!!!!!!

Fairy Tales... and Progress

I overheard the children telling each other fairy stories this morning - I think there is something going on at school as part of World Book Day (or something similar).

Anyway, they were taking it in turns to tell the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears and, I have to be honest they told it very well, Lea did all the voices and TJ was doing the sound effects - he is particularly good at slurping porridge....

After they had finished I came in and said I had been listening and (in true parent style) said, 'So what do you think happened after Goldilocks ran away? Why do you think the bears didn't chase her and eat her up?" Knowing my two I thought this would provoke a great reaction with them sharing the gory details of their imagined bear feast... Of course, I should have known that with children, and especially my two, what ever way in which you imagine they will behave, they do the exact opposite.

'The bears will just call the police." said TJ.
I was a little shocked, 'The police?," I asked, 'Whatever for?'

TJ went on, "Well, she was a robber who burgled the bear's house... and she broke a chair!"
Lea joined in, "And she ate baby bear's porridge and probably left her spit in Mummy and Daddy bear's bowls." (This is currently a huge misdemeanour amongst the children - the sharing of spit.)
TJ then added (and I know this is my fault), "She also wore her shoes in the house and probably walked dog poo from the forest on the carpet" - as you can guess this is based on reality...
Lea then completed the line of thought by adding, "You know what? I don't think she took her shoes off before she got into bed - otherwise how could she run away so fast - she would have had to put her shoes on. She wouldn't run very far in bare feet."

This made me go back to my Roald Dahl collection - there is a similar argument against Goldilocks there - but I have not read it to the boys yet, I'm going to find out if they have studied it in school... but either way - the fact they remembered it and worked out the argument against Goldilocks is pretty amazing when you consider they both have learning difficulties. If they have never come across that version then I am truly impressed - sometimes I do think that children who find 'normal academic' learning tough find other ways in which to use their imagination and get their ideas out. School told me that Lea now has a 'scribe' - a teaching assistant to help her write her ideas down, otherwise she simply writes in squiggles that only she can read and that isn't particularly easy to mark - but her ideas are amazing, say the school, which I think is testament to the time we have spent trying to find things that fire her imagination. I don't want to make out that we are amazing parents, I'm sure most people do the same with their kids, but we have only had them two years now and the progress they have made is awe inspiring - they have made that progress, we have just supported it. And its so nice to have positive things to write. Adoption can be a hard slog, particularly when dealing with such huge issues but every now and again there is a glimmer of sunshine and you know you are on the right track.

Its often in the little things that we see the progress... thank you Goldilocks... I hope you get off with a warning!

New Edition to the Family.....

I have just heard my mother faint as she read the title of today's entry... no it's ok Mum, we haven't suddenly sprung a new grandchild on you (a girl of Asian descent)... yet!!!!!!

What we have done is purchased TJ a new pet - a guinea pig, that he has already named as Chipmonk Ironman (Chip for short - but you are not allowed to eat him!) This came about as the two rabbits we bought for them on their adoption day turned out to be completely incompatible. Lea chose a ginger bunny (named Ginger) and TJ chose a small black bunny (named Shadow). We were reliably informed that the bunnies were from the same litter and would live together happily once neutered. As we soon found out, they were definitely not brothers. Ginger is the size of a small cat and Shadow is tiny - a dwarf. Not unlike the kids themselves really. Anyway, Ginger had taken it upon himself to seek out and attack Shadow at every opportunity and woud escape from his hutch, hop over to Shadow's hutch and urinate all over him... again not unlike the children!

Ginger is also viscious to everyone who comes near him - apart from Lea and the dog. He loves the Dog and they sit for hours with their noses pressed against each other. He loves Lea and will sit on her feet while she strokes him. I, on the other hand, am seen to be some kind of scratching post designed to help Ginger keep his claws in trim. Whilst we were away Ginger was looked after by friends who came daily to feed him etc... only he kept running away and they would spend much of the day trying to get a snarling bunny from out of the corner behind the boxes in the garage.... We have paid them in wine and chocolates so hopefully they will still speak to us.

Shadow went to stay with the boys Godparents - who have an entire menagerie on their East Sussex estate, well, it seems like it anyway. When we came to collect Shadow we could see he was totally at home with the Godparents, he was stretched out on the sofa soaking up the sun. He had also made very good friends with their Guinea Pig and apparently the two of them were inseparable. So the decision was made to leave Shadow in his country pile and to let TJ know that he could go and visit him whenever he liked, which is lovely and very kind. However, it left us with the dilemma that TJ has no pet of his own. Discussions were duly had and a guinea pig was agreed upon.

So today we went to the seediest part of town (seriously - even the guinea pig lady apologised for making us go there. Apparently she has lived their for 20years but knows it's a s*** hole - well she cant afford to move out - she breeds guinea pigs for a living - her words!) Anyway, the lady, who was lovely, gave TJ a lecture on how to care for his guinea pig - I could see his face glaze over and knew that in his head he was currently playing Skylanders or Spiderman - so I listened intently as the obviously guinea pig crazy lady went on and on and on... she was actually very sweet, if a little bit fanatical.

So the guinea pig was bought and is now hiding in his cage in TJ's bedroom - I saw the cat's eyes light up when the cage was brought in - I think we will have to keep an eye on that....

Everyone prefers blondes....

This morning we had a long chat about hair colour... Over breakfast!

The catalyst for this conversation came whilst we were looking at some photos of our recent trip to Singapore. In one of the photos the two kids are pictured with Oscar the Grouch on the newly recreated Sesame Street at Universal Studios Singapore. TJ remembered that when they saw Oscar they immediately wanted their pics taken but had to wait for a little while as a couple of other children also wanted to have their photos with the character. No problem, they are both very patient... When it's something they want to do of course!

However, in the period that we were waiting a coach load of tourists from China came along and as the boys went up to have their photo opportunity Papa and I were pushed out of the way in order for the tourists to take photos of our children, in particular TJ. Where Lea took it in her stride and started posing for the camera ( not unlike the time we found her in the window of Giordano, an Asian clothing store, pretending to be one of the child sized mannequins and entertaining a group of passers by... Who were no longer passing, just watching our eldest and her antics in the window, she eventually finished with a rendition of Gangnam Style and got a round of applause... We didn't buy anything....)

Anyway, TJ was obviously not too happy about the crowd that was now gathering and taking his picture so Papa tried to step in. Obviously thinking Papa was trying to muscle in on the photo frenzy the tourists pushed him out of the way still frantically snapping away with Papa shouting, "That's my son! Can I please take a photo of my own child!" It really was pandemonium, we now know how the parents of One Direction must feel!

Eventually the Grouch's 'minders' stepped in and took Oscar and the children out of the way and held back the crowd in order that we could take photos. Immediately after we had finished the tourists were back, this time they all wanted to pat TJ on the head. He took it graciously for a while and then shouted, 'stop stroking me, I'm not a rabbit!"

We had found that a lot of people, especially older people in Singapore wanted to pat TJ on the head, apparently his blonde hair is considered lucky as it is golden coloured and people want to touch it for prosperity for the New Year ahead....

We explained this to TJ and he took it on board and now seemed quite proud of his blondeness. 'Why did no-one want to touch my hair?' Said Lea.... Papa and I looked at her wirelike ginger mop... "Erm, because you're too tall.' We told her.....

Welcome Home... To jet lag!

We flew back to the UK on Saturday night arriving on Sunday morning and the kids flew really well... This despite the fact that the minute TJ got on the plane the stewardess informed him of yet mother Arsenal loss, one we had kept from him in order to prevent a meltdown, I don't think she realised the barrage of abuse that she was about to let herself in for... Poor woman! Still the rest of the flight was uneventful, lots of movies, sleep and, in TJ's case, toilet going....

We spent Sunday in a jet lagged state of dreamlike bliss... Everything kind of happened around us, or that's how it seemed. We went to Sainsbury's in order to stock up... Which we needed to do, we had arrived at 7am and a friend had kindly left milk and a loaf or bread at the back door... Thank goodness, as we had no heating and we spent the first couple of hours shivering whilst sipping hot chocolate and eating toast... So as soon as the shops opened at 10am (which felt like 5pm) we were off and shopping... Much to the boys delight!

We then collected the pets from the kennels... Good grief, it costs nearly as much to board pets as to house us, well, maybe not as much, but it was still ridiculously expensive. The dog then went straight to the groomers, which she was not too thrilled about, but the kennel smell was just too much to take!

By the time all this had been done we were exhausted. TJ looked at me and said, 'Daddy, why am I tired, can I go to bed now?' It was 4pm and I wanted to keep him awake, so I sat him in front if the tv with toothpicks practically propping up his eyelids... By 6pm both kids were crashed out... By 8pm so were we!

Monday, it was back to school... Which was lucky as both children were up at 5am... By 8.30 we had eaten a cooked breakfast, walked the dog, cleaned the rooms and done a load of washing... The kids went to school exhausted... When I collected them after the school day they were both ready for bed again!

Today we saw our article in Gay Times... About gay parenting obviously, it was quite a nice picture and the article was supposed to advertise the blog... But they forgot about that bit. Oh well, it was a nice article anyway... As I type Papa is writing to a tv researcher who has just asked if we would be prepared to do a tv interview... Here goes!!

Laundry blues....

Yesterday TJ's godfather found the laundromat within our apartment block... I think it was the domestic side of him that sniffed it out. He strutted through the door and proudly announced, "Your building has clothes dryers!". As I quickly ascertained, where there are dryers there are washers... And sure enough there was a huge laundry room next to the car park. We can be forgiven for missing it as we had no reason to go down there and it was only because TJ's godpa was driving us for yet more seafood (yummy) and wine... Which is hideously expensive... That we had any need to venture into the basement. However, we can't really complain, for the past two weeks other people have done our laundry for us... And they did a great job!

I can't believe that we are nearing the end of the trip. It's been amazing. Brilliant to see so many friends and family and this year the kids seem to have taken it all in their stride. No complaints, no moaning, no strange silences, they just got on with being on holiday. The change in them is so noticeable, this year they just seem to belong... Both to us and to each other... There is a very different dynamic, which really works. Although Papa did comment that he kind of liked it last year when they sat quietly watching everyone and everything... This year, they are 'real' little kids... Tearing around, exploring, chatting to our friends about their lives, school, pets etc.

Yesterday, the children coped really well, they had a long swim after breakfast and then went to lunch to meet a lovely friend before moving on to meet TJ's godfather for a drink before moving on yet again to meet their 'special' aunt... She couldn't agree to be a Godparent as she is Buddhist, but she will always have a special place in the boys' lives, and at the moment that is as the green mutant ninja turtle... (Due to her constant carrying of a backpack)...  But they sat and chatted to everyone, Lea was in her element holding court and discussing her favourite animal. At one point she sang her new song for everyone, to the tune of 'twinkle twinkle', she had written a song about her favourite animals at the zoo... We loved it... I'm not sure the taxi driver was so enamoured after the fourth rendition on a ten minute journey... TJ ran around... A lot... He likes that.

It may sound a little cliched, but I think this year we have come to Singapore as a family....

Pandas and Laundry

Apologies for being silent for longer than usual... It's been a busy few days.

After all the excitement of Chinese New Year and the family madness that goes along with it, we have now reached a stage of calm and can relax for the rest of our trip.... Although we have a string of friends that we need to spend time with. So much so that Papa has now organised a spreadsheet that lets us know where we are supposed to be at any point during the day... With gaps for 'recreational activities'. We have also organised a 'get together' on Friday night in honour of Papa's 40th birthday, so hopefully, a lot of our friends will be able to come to that. It will be great to see everyone!

The past few days have seen further deluges of rain, interspersed with blazing hot sun. So the kids get to run down to the pool in the morning and swim (well jump in and out) for about an hour before we head off into town or to the Botanic Gardens to meet whomever we have planned to meet. Poor TJ gets a bit confused with all the people we are seeing, so we are constantly reminding him and reassuring him that; a, he will like the food and, b, there will be a toilet. He is obsessed with toilets, as you know, but at least in Singapore they are pretty much clean enough to meet his high standards. With the exception of Marina Bay Sands, Singapore's casino and shopping destination... Their toilets were so filthy even TJ didn't want to use them, which surprised us.

Today we went our separate ways. KC and I went to the Singapore Zoo, which has been revamped and is a lovely destination. Last time we went the cages were all very small and the animals seemed really unhappy. But now it's much better. And there are pandas. You have to pay extra but it was really worth it, just to see KC's face when he saw a panda for the first time. TJ opted to go with Papa instead (he's not a big fan of zoos) I don't know how happy he was when he learned he was going shopping, but I think he was placated with a trip via the sweet shop. He was certainly buzzing when we met up later!

Tonight we realised that we had run out of clean clothes. Our serviced apartment doesn't have a washing machine (which is a bit silly) and we actually used up everything. I bought new clothes ( like I needed an excuse) but the kids were beginning to smell... It was Grandma to the rescue. She told us to come over and she old do our washing (well the maid would) and she would make us all dinner! So being the dutiful son, papa took us and his washing home to mother... It doesn't matter how old you get, mother will always help you out... I imagine one day that TJ will be bringing his washing to us! Hopefully!

Rainy days and Thursdays...

Today it has rained all day. When we got up this morning the first thing the kids wanted to do was go swimming... But we told them that we would go shopping first and get them measured up for their wedding clothes etc ... We did that, in the torrential rain... Then came back and it was still raining... So no swimming today and tonight we have a babysitter!!! So we are going out with adults... For dinner... Great! Although getting a table for four on Valentines night is pretty difficult. Even our suggestion of pushing two table of two together was met with horror, 'But it's Valentines day sir, set menu, set price per couple... Couple...' It just wasn't worth the arguing, so we decided to go for seafood! Chilli crab! Yum!

Yesterday our good friend and TJ 's god father came over to see us. As he walked through the door TJ rushed up to him and shouted, "Gong Xi Fa Cai!' He paused and then added, 'where's my money? You have to give me money!' It turned out that TJ believed that by wishing someone happy new year he was invoking some kind of cosmic cash machine!!! He wasn't too pleased when it was explained to him that this Godfather didn't have to give him ang bao as he wasn't married yet.

The children are constantly confused by how many people already know them, either from the blog or Facebook, such is he power of social media. Every time they go anywhere someone is bound to spot papa or myself and chat to the children by name. They now think they are some kind of Singapore royalty even though only one of their Dads is a Singapore queen!

Coming Home...

That's how it feels coming back to Singapore... Especially when we see our lovely friends. We have a lot of people to catch up with and started today with a friend I made on my first day working in Singapore back in 1999. She is now married, to another great friend, and have two adorable children, one of whom is in love with our son.... We shall ensure their betrothal by the end of the trip. More friends to meet tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow... Great fun!

After a lovely afternoon, in which we persuaded our friends to take our washing home with them (they have a maid!) we decided to do some shopping. KC needed summer pyjamas, as the onesie he brought with him is just too hot in evenings where the temperature does not fall below 25c. Papa also decided he needed a new T-shirt, so we went to a few stores and he finally found one he liked... And today he learned the lesson that all Caucasians learn very early on... Singapore does not cater for British 'physiques'! ( unless you are small and skinny, of course).

When we lived here Papa used to laugh when I came home after a days shopping in a state of depression. Here I was a large size ( even when I was skinny)... It was even more depressing when you walk into a shop and the assistants would scream 'no large sizes!' And usher you out of the door.... Being Caucasian in Asia stops being fun when clothes shopping... I'm sure it's even worse for the ladies!

To be honest, one thing I have noticed is that Singaporeans do seem to be getting bigger, obviously affluence does affect size as people eat out more and fast food outlets are now everywhere. But today, Papa understood my depression when shopping. He went into a local store (that also has branches in the UK). In the UK he is sized as a medium... Which is fine. But today he went into the same store to fine he was an XL! He was so shocked that he simply threw the clothes back and stormed out of the shop. I ran after him and reminded him that this was Singapore and therefore they were Asian sizes... He looked at me disparagingly, "Asian sizes... Asian sizes!" He repeated himself for dramatic effect before a drawn out pause... "I am bloody Asian!" Words failed me.... But inside I was smiling!

Later that evening we decided to go out for a quick dinner and as it was getting late we popped into a local zchinese restaurant chain. God and  cheap as Papa puts it. All was going well until the waitress decided she needed to know more about our family. As I took TJ to the toilet I came back to find Paoa and the waitress having a 'heated' discussion in Chinese, with KC sitting there. The gist of it was that she wanted to know where the boys' mother was. When Pap told her they didn't have one she seemed confused and then asked if they were his children and if he had married an 'Ang moh' calmly, Papa had told her that the boys were adopted, by us... she didn't seem able to accept this and started to argue with Papa about same sex adoption and her belief that it was wrong. It was at this point that I came back. This seemed to make her angrier. As did my trying to calm everything down.

The waitress then threw the cutlery down and said she couldn't serve us. Her senior turn came over and Papa started to tell her what had happened. She then served us herself whilst the other waitress sat in the corner glaring at us. It didn't make for a comfortable evening out but at least the boys were unaware. We left quietly and I ensured we had a late night drink to calm everyone down... the boys had an ice cream... ice cream at 10pm in the heat of the tropical night is great fun!

Maybe Singapore isn't quite ready for a gay family just yet.

Chinese New Years Day

You know when you are in Asia when instead of commercials on Cartoon Network they have info mercials teaching youngsters about the differences between investing and saving, diversifying in your stock portfolio and gauging risk... All sung by a jaunty cartoon character... I'm not kidding!! CJ is glued to it and now wants to invest his ang bao in a Skylander... I don't think he understood the main gist of this investment lark.

Yesterday, just before the shops closed we rushed over to one of the many malls that populate Orchard Road and were in a store looking for new kids clothes for reunion dinner that night. I suddenly realised that CJ was nowhere to be seen. We scoured the store then noticed a small crowd gathering outside the main shop window. I went over and sure enough, there was CJ standing in the shop window alongside the other child size mannequins, pretending to be a shop dummy for a few seconds and then turning and waving at the crowd... Who were becoming his audience. I pulled him out of the window reminding him that if anyone was going to draw attention to themselves then it should be me!!! We quickly left.

Today is the first day of Chinese year of the snake.... We had to go to Papa's Mum and Dad to greet them with oranges and then the children receive their red packets with money in them. As we hadn't made it to reunion dinner the night before, due to the complete lack of cabs, there was a glut of Aunties and Uncles who had missed us, and they'll needed greeting and had money to give. We didn't have enough oranges, so borrowed some off Papa's sister and at one point people were just passing oranges around and recycling them, it looked like a juggling scene from a del Monte commercial.

The most surreal part of the day came as the heavens opened. It seems to be a recurring theme for the beginning of the Year of the Water Snake, ongoing rain. As the rain fell I noticed my sister-in-law's two maids racing around the garden with umbrellas. I asked what they were doing to be told that they were putting umbrellas over the flowers to protect the blooms... So there were two young ladies racing around the garden putting umbrellas over flowers whilst getting drenched themselves. It reminded me of Alice in Wonderland where the guards are painting the white roses red...

We came home and the two exhausted boys have just crashed asleep after opening their ang baos... They have made a fortune... I not hope they invest it wisely!!!

Holiday ... 1... Tripping....

The first day of jet lag is always weird... One minute you are up and raring to go, then you suddenly find yourself falling asleep in odd places. I fell asleep while teaching a class once after flying back to Singapore from the UK the night before. Not too weird I hear you say, until you learn it was a dance class (those were the days!)

The children were up and awake at 5am... They came rushing into our room to tell us about the witch flying around outside their bedroom... 'But Granny is at home!' I thought... (Hehe).. It turned out to be a bird sitting on the balcony and whooping... I think that is the term... It definitely whoops!

By 8am Papa took them to the pool, not to drown them, but to give me an extra hour in bed, bless him.

By lunchtime poor TJ was exhausted, he practically fell asleep in his sauerkraut, yes we travelled to Asia to eat at a German restaurant... It was one he remembered from last year's trip and when TJ wants a sausage then a sausage he shall have! So we decided to come back to the flat for a nap. The great thing about having a serviced apartment is that you can come back and just chill... TJ has a nap while Lea watches tv and I have a cup of tea or g and t on the balcony.

On the way back we met a young boy in the lift, a young boy in an Arsenal top. A young boy who is a member of the arsenal soccer school out here... Where everyone in Singapore used to support Man U, the tide has turned and there is a huge number of Arsenal supporters now. Anyhow, TJ and this boy got talking and now TJ wants to live here. Lea does too, but only because she doesn't like the long flight.

This evening we were supposed to see Grandma and Grandpa for Chinese New Years Eve reunion dinner, however, TJ simply wasn't up to it. He was just standing in the bedroom crying, but he didn't know why... That's jet lag for you. He wasn't ready to sleep, didn't want to eat but didn't know what he wanted to do... Bless him. So we decided that he and I would stay at home and Papa and Lea could go to the reunion dinner... Off they went, leaving TJ and I alone watching tv. An hour later they were back. They couldn't get a taxi. Even the hotel couldn't get one... Apparently it's Chinese New Year's Eve... There were people fighting for cabs outside the hotel, literally! So Papa and Lea came home. TJ perked up and we went out to the Hyatt for our own family dinner... Now the kids are back in bed... Both wide awake!!!

But we have already pre booked our taxi so the kids can do the New Year's greeting to their Grandparents, who will be giving them their ang paos stuffed with money and, more importantly, their Chinese names to welcome them to the family... The Singapore government may not yet accept gay people and their families yet, but the Singaporeans we know and love have been nothing but amazingly supportive and our children will grow up being proud Anglo-Singaporeans....

Singapore here we come!

Well, we finally got here after nearly a full day of travel.
We decided to take the night flight so both kids could sleep for most of the 12 hour journey. And to be fair, they were brilliant... Most of the time.

We were sitting upstairs on the new airbus, which was exciting in itself, and TJ decided he needed the toilet - no change there then. Whilst we were up I decided I would use the facility as well. So sent TJ back to his seat, which was only two rows away as we were in a very small cabin section. I then nipped to the loo. In the two minutes or so that I was in there all pandemonium had broken loose. TJ had taken a wrong turn ( how he did that on a plane I don't know) and had been found crying in first class. No one knew who he was or where he was supposed to be and he couldn't tell them. I came out of the loo and went back to the seat. 'Where's TJ?' I asked Papa and Lea to be met with shrugged shoulders as they were both watching a movie. And then I heard the wail from up front. The blue curtain was pulled back to reveal three stewardesses fussing over a small crying boy. We comforted him and took him back to our seats. Five minutes later and the stewardesses turned up with blankets and little bags from first class so the kids could be comfortable, they then plied them with chocolates and sweets for the rest of the trip... I needed a whiskey and dry to calm my nerves, so had three....

This reminded me of a time, before children, when Papa and I always flew business. We are not ludicrously wealthy, I am just very lucky to be married to someone in the travel industry. However, one time I was downgraded as they had oversold the business seats, so Papa and I agreed to share the flat bed in business.... Not like that! I would sit in economy and watch a couple of movies on the 12 hour flight while Papa slept and then halfway through we would swap seats and he could watch a movie while I got some sleep. Pretty good idea. So I sat in my seat and watched a couple of movies.... And waited.... And waited... And the blue curtain (which acts as a barrier into the world that is business) never moved... I waited some more and then decided that I would venture forward to find my partner. I had never seen cabin crew move as fast as when my hand touched that curtain. I'm afraid you can't go through there.' I was told and despite my protestations that I wasn't actually going to contaminate the business class passengers with nasty economy germs, I was unceremoniously sent back to my seat. I sat there fuming and longing for the blue curtain to go back, even if only to show the afore mentioned cabin crew that I was not in fact some mad stalker or making the whole thing up so I could steal a business class washbag.... It never happened.

We got off the plane and Papa was waiting for me, he had been fast tracked off, naturally... He was suitably apologetic... Apparently he was just so comfortable that he overslept and when he did wake up there was only four hours left to fly so he didn't think it would be worth the swap. I was obviously enjoying my movies as I never came for him.... Or that was his reasoning... Needless to say it's a story I will not let him forget....

As we got off the plane yesterday we walked through first class, (I always love that they make you walk through the entire plane as if to say, 'see this is what you could've won!') TJ turned to Lea and proudly said, 'See that's my seat there, I got to sit and watch that big tv!' It may only have been for a few minutes but already my youngest is beginning to realise why one can only turn left when boarding a plane.... He really is Little Lord Fauntleroy.

We checked into out beautiful apartment just off Orchard Road, Singapore's shopping district, and then ran to get shopping and dinner. Chicken rice, lovely... And both children had loads of chilli with it they definitely have Singapore blood in them! We then went to get ice cream, it was just turning 10pm and the stores were closing. We queued up at the ice cream stall and the boys selected their flavours just to be told by the rather grumpy female assistant, "Sorry, ah! Last order done already!' Yes, Singapore customer service is alive and well... The shop assistant then closed the counter despite the protestations of the kids and even the man in front who asked the girl to 'just give the children a small ice cream. 'Cannot,' she said, 'Stall closed at 10.' Oh well... We popped over to 7-11 for an ice lolly instead. There's always somewhere open in singapore... What made me smile was as we walked away TJ said, quite loudly, 'I thought you said they speak English in the shops here, Papa. But I didn't understand her." Ah, the joys of Singlish....

It is now 5 am and we are all awake. Today is Chinese New Years Eve, so tonight it is reunion dinner with Papa's family. They love the kids so I know they will be horribly spoiled... As long as they stay awake!!!

Facebook gets me into trouble again...

oops! So now my sister is mad at me.

Oh dear, apparently a 'witty' comment I put onto Facebook about the gay marriage bill being passed in parliament last night didn't go down too well when I mentioned the 'joke' cost of a straight wedding (as my sister is getting married soon)... Anyway, maybe she had a bit of a point - so I deleted it to keep the peace.

I daren't put the joke here in case they see it again - I think she and he fiancee are having  a sense of humour bypass at the moment, they definately didn't see the funny side - but weddings can do that - they stress you out.

On our own Civil partnership I forgot to order the cars - and we had to load everybody into black cabs and then got stuck in a traffic jam - so we were about half an hour late for the ceremony - the registrar was beginning to worry that we had backed out - but no, it was just poor planning... planning has never been my strongest attribute! But we had a lovely ceremony.We then proceeded to take the entire family with us on our honeymoon to Paris. so we loaded the cab with mother, sister and her boyfriend and my brother and his wife and we all jumped on the eurostar to gay Paris for a few days! We even had the usual family falling out at the dinner table - I had a huge row with my brother, stormed out, (to a round of applause from the locals) and went home to bed... the rest of the family in the meantime stayed up, drank the bar dry and rowed until the morning! Apparently, when Papa was asked if he was going to follow me, his reply was, " he knows the way back." and he carried on drinking....

The next morning there was only Papa and I around so we went for a delicious breakfast and then had a lovely stroll to the eiffel tower and back. We returned to the hotel to find Mother sitting there by herself. She had her handbag on her lap and was sat on a chair eyeing the shifty French receptionist and making sure he didnt pilfer her mint imperials... she reminded me of Shirley Valentine... She was now hungry so we popped out for a second breakfast - you can never have too many breakfasts! We then returned to the hotel again and finally met everyone else, who by now had woken up and all had the munchies - so Papa and I went out again for breakfast number three - my sister in law threw most of it up, so it was obviously a good night the night before! But despite that it was great - I think sometimes the unplanned parts of a wedding are the best bit!

I think we should now make it a family tradition that everyone goes on the honeymoon with the happy couple - although with my sister we probably wouldn't get further than Skegness!!!!!! (that's a joke by the way!!!!!!).

Snot!

Today is therapy day for KC and we have quite a journey I make to get there. This means that Tuesday mornings can be quite hectic. Getting TJ sorted out and off to school before we rush off.

This morning was no exception and as we were getting ready I noticed that TJ's jumper was missing. I found it pushed behind his toy box.... I pulled it out to find it covered in a strange white substance. TJ was in the bathroom cleaning his teeth. I took the offending item into the bathroom and showed it to him. 'What's this?" I asked pointing at the jumper. TJ looked at it and then looked up at the ceiling, "um.... Erm... Umm... Ah.... Erm.... " he went on in this vein for about 5 minutes. I just stood there looking at him. "I shall wait," I said, " I shall wait until you tell me the truth."

"Um... Er.... Well.... It's snot"

I looked at him in disbelief... "It's what?" I said, keeping my temper under control.

By now he was feeling braver. "Snot." He replied, "I was having a sniff in school and teacher told me to blow my nose. I couldn't find a tissue, so I used my jumper... Twice."

I didn't know what else to say so put him in a lean jumper and sent him off to school.... Great... I wouldn't mind but he has packs of tissues in his school bag for just this occasion... Lovely!

Three Days and Counting...

TJ has just returned from Football club... apparently he had to play football in his school shoes and school coat as his tracksuit top and trainers were not in his football bag. Last night, whilst I was in the midst of my cooking frenzy, Papa had one job - to sort the kids out for school. When I went to say goodnight, they were still in their old pyjamas, their hair hadn't been washed and now I find that the football bags were not packed properly. Somehow, according to TJ, all of this is my fault! He is now in a huffy mood with me because of this... I told him that Papa packed his bag and not me, but that is not the point... the point is that I should have known about this before TJ was so excrutiatingly embarrassed at school. Of course, Papa can do no wrong... ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Its three sleeps until we fly to Singapore for Chinese New Year. We are all getting a bit excited...

Well, excitement mixed with a little bit of fear. The children are obviously anxious about the journey - it's a long way and TJ always gets anxious about any form of journey. I suppose that comes from being moved around by social workers etc in his early life. We just have to keep re-assuring him.

Mind you, last year, he spent most of the 14 hour flight playing with the handset by his seat - he loved the fact that it controlled the TV and he could play computer games with it. He loved the light that went on and off whenever he pressed a switch and most of all, he loved that when you pressed the picture of a little man that a lady turned up (that confused him) and, because he was so small and so cute, he would get food or sweets brought to his very own seat, he didnt even need to move! The stewardess obviously did not know of TJ's Little Lord Fauntleroy complex and eventually she soon tired of his constant demands - and believe me there were many. Apparently, she is not hired to take care of  every whim of a small boy. Much to TJ's indignation, so he had to settle with visiting the toilet every 10 minutes and grading it on levels of cleanliness - as you know this is his favourite hobby... sigh.

We always take the night flight - so luckily he soon tired (well, after about 2 hours he tired) and he slept most of the way after that. KC on the other hand discovered movies on demand - movies Daddy and Papa don't let him watch. So we ended up in a battle of wills - both trying to see who would go to sleep first. He was desparate for us to sleep so he could tune into the latest gory action thriller, whilst we were desparate for him to go to sleep so that we could tune in to the same show without a small pair of eyes drifting to our TV screen - I can only watch so much Disney Club or Big Time Rush! In the end we settled on letting him watch Johnny English - the Rowan Atkinson spy spoof. He thought that was very grown up and watched it on loop throughout the entire flight. Personally, I think he was asleep, despite his eyes being glued to the screen.

Heaven knows how this flight will go!

Weddings!

I have spent most of today working on my sisters wedding cake. In a moment of madness I suggested that I would make the cake for her forth coming big day. I think I must have been in a state of shock that her long term boyfriend had actually popped the question. Their's is an on off relationship that is reliant on my sisters frame of mind at the time. I have already seen her throw her engagement ring at her poor fiancée... Although her love of red wine often has much to do with it.

My sister selected the cake from a range I suggested online and once she had picked we bought the necessary equipment and the ingredients... I didn't think the baking itself would be such an issue. I was using the same recipe as my Christmas cake, which proves to be quite popular. This year I took a large piece into school for the teachers to share.. However, it never went further than the teacher I gave it to, which I should take as a compliment... I think.

Well, the cake took a lot longer than I expected and halfway through I realised I hadn't made enough of the cake mix to fill the four tiers she required.... Four tiers! I was crying many more tears when I had to go back to the supermarket yet again to get more ingredients... And papa wept as he handed over his credit card again. I have finally managed to get the final two tiers in the oven and an extra cake for us to test the icing on... Eight hours and counting!!!

It reminded me of the time I lost my wedding ring at Christmas. We had gone to my sister and her boyfriend's house for Christmas and mine and Papa's present was to cook the full Christmas dinner. I followed Nigella's Christmas Day menu to the letter, although I still stuff the turkey in the traditional way, pushing sausage meat under the skin. I happily did this on the morning of the big day. I take a perverse pleasure in it... Well, we all ate a fabulous meal - it really was a success, much to everyone's surprise!

That evening as we were cleaning up I noticed that my wedding ring was missing. The ring made and designed by Dinny Hall in rose gold that Papa had made for me. We turned the kitchen upside down, had I left it on the side, did I take if off? Had my sisters boyfriend put in on eBay? (We hadn't known him for very long and she had made some dodgy choices in boys previously).
We eventually realised that the only place it could have gone was in the turkey itself, so at 2am with everyone full of Christmas cheer, we routed through the rubbish bins looking for the band of gold... We never found it....

We filled in the necessary insurance papers and we had to get a costing for the replacement from Dinny's shop. I explained what had happened and luckily they still had the design on record so could give me a quote for a replacement, which we then passed onto the insurance company.

The day came to collect the ring and when I entered the shop a lovely, very well dressed lady, came up to me and asked me if I was in fact, the turkey man! The lady was Dinny herself and once she had heard my story she simply had to come and meet me to find out if it was true. She asked if she could use me story in her newsletter and offered me a discount at her store, since at day I have always been the 'turkey man' at Dinny Hall Jewellery.... And she had better appreciate the plug I just gave her!!!!