A Tale of Two Sickies...

It's never fun when your child is ill.

It's doubly worse when they are both ill at the same time... as we found out.

Over the weekend TJ came down with a particularly nasty chest infection - he is very small for his age so his little body doesn't cope very well with infections. Add in his asthma and this weekend was set to be pretty bleak. He has a home respirator and spent much of the weekend sitting in front of the TV while the machine whirred alongside him. To be honest, its a pretty annoying noise and KC soon got fed up - but as I pointed out to him it was either the whirring of the respirator or TJ's coughing that interrupted his movie... and, anyway, I pointed out , if TJ gets any worse we are all off to the hospital to make sure he is ok. KC decided that the whirring wasn't that annoying after all - and turned the sound up on the TV.

TJ copes well with illness, he was born prematurely and since his birth and diagnosis of a genetic disorder he has been in and out of hosptial for most of his young life. To a point where I am trying to keep him away from hospitals and doctors as he seems to revel in going. It's as if the attention that he gets from them makes up for something missing in his life - either that or the attention takes him back to his early chidhood and he finds comfort in it. We could hypothesise all day, but my gut instinct tells me that his obsession with doctors is not a healthy one.

He spent the whole day asking if the doctor had called and were we going soon to see him. As it was, once I had managed to get through, the doctor couldn't see him until Thursday anyway and I didn't want to risk a weak chest at the local A and E unless it was a genuine emergency, so we decided to wait and see. As it was the respirator did the trick and he went on with life. Although even once he was better he still wanted to go to the hospital - just to make sure.

KC on the other hand, is never ill. Never. So when he woke up on Monday morning with a sore throat it was a bit of a shock for him. I found him in the bathroom in floods of tears, convinced that he was going to die. "It's just a sore throat," I told him, "It'll get better in a few days."

This didn't reassure him, "What if it gets worse and I can't eat - then am I going to die?"

"You are not going to die," I said as I administered the Calpol.

"But my friend says that the doctors will put a camera up my nose," I don't know who this 'friend' is but I could kill him for the amount of dumb advice he gives out.

'Nobody is putting anything up your nose," I said, "besides I don't think my phone will fit up there!" i thought some humour may diffuse the situation... it didn't - he just eyed my phone warily.

So now my youngest has skipped off to school happily informing his teachers that he is really ill but if he gets worse then Daddy will pick him up. Whilst my eldest lies on the sofa watching endless cartoons and drinking water whilst moaning that he may never eat crisps again... well, every cloud has a silver lining.

Staying at Home - when ill!!!!

I went into school yesterday to collect TJ and came back full of sniffles, "I'm allergic to kids' I joked on the way back. TJ didn't get it.

Then this morning I woke up full of 'man flu' - head banging, body aching, full blown cold symptoms - lots of fun!

I told Papa as he left for work that I felt awful.

"You should stay in bed today then," came the sympathetic reply as he left the house.

So sweet I thought... and then remembered I had to get the boys up and ready for school - which with them at different schools takes a good 90minutes. Then after that I had to walk the bouncy puppy. I got home and sat down. Papa called, "Are you resting?" he said. I smiled, then he added, "Because I haven't any clean shirts left so could you wash and iron me some please?" I stopped smiling.

"I thought I wa supposed to be resting?" I said.

"Well, I thought about it and realised that you can't so I thought you might as well be kept busy," said Papa laughingly.

Haha...

So I have just finished hanging out the clothes and am sitting down for lunch.

Papa called back "Shall I get dinner tonight?" he asked.

"That would be nice," I replied, "Especially as I have to take TJ to his piano lesson and then collect KC from rugby after."

"Great," he said, "Chinese or Fish and Chips?"

To be honest I don't care - as long as I don't have to cook it.

Stay at home parents should be allowed to include sick days in their scope of work... except they can't...

Reality Check!

Its been a strange week so far - one of those weeks where very little seems to happen but you seem to be exhausted all the time.

It began at the weekend.

When did weekends become all about housework, washing and catching up on homework?  I didn't used to mind being exhausted on a Monday as I knew it was simply the result of a weekend of excess - probably spent out with friends in the pub - Monday was a day of recovery.

Nowadays I'm just grateful to get to Monday, to feel that the weekend is out of the way. The kids are back at school, hubby is back at work and I am left to clear up the mess and get the house sorted out ready for.. well, for the next weekend.

When did this become my life?

They didn't tell you about this in the adoption manuals... I don't recall any social worker ever saying "make sure you go out partying lots before the kids arrive because after that they will run your life."

Of course, the counter argument is that we have much more quality time together and its great fun watching the kids grow up and playing with them - except that sometimes it isn't. Sometimes they are just annoying - the constant whinging, the constant whining that 'I am bored' and 'why can't I watch TV" - and thats just Papa!

But last weekend poor TJ was poorly. On Saturday morning he simply didn't get out of bed. For TJ this is very unusual - normally he can get out of bed on a weekend at the crack of dawn - not so on schooldays where he has to be shoehorned out of his bed - but weekends he is up bright and early ready to take on the world. Except on Saturday he wasn't.

I went in and he told me his head hurt, he also didn't want breakfast and he just wanted to sleep - warning bells were screaming in my ears. I did the usual checks for serious illnesses and then administered that nectar of the god of ill children - Calpol.

He slept nearly the whole day. Then at 7pm he felt much better and couldn't sleep all night. Suddenly I had a jet lagged 8 year old who required entertaining...

By Sunday morning he was asleep and I was exhausted. But there was still stuff to be done. A roast dinner to make, washing to sort out and a house to clean... luckily both Papa and KC were going to help me - if help meant that they sat out of the way watching the rugby... which is what they did.

So at around 4pm I decided to take the dog for a walk by myself. We strolled by the river and watched the world go by. Then one of TJ's friends came rushing up with his family in tow. 'You're lucky," said the mum, 'having time to go for a walk - where are the boys?"

"I left them at home with Papa," I said, "They are watching the rugby."

The mum looked at me with shock. "You are letting your children watch TV on a beautiful day like this?" she exclaimed, "They should be outside getting some fresh air."

"Yes, they should," i replied, "But then they would be with me and I wouldn't have any peace and quiet."

I think she was a little offended as she and her brood rode off into the distance... not that I cared - for just a few minutes longer the dog and I sat and stared at the peaceful river before I had to return home to make supper...

I'm not really feeling sorry for myself- I love my life but every now and again I remember what it was like before kids - and sometimes it was pretty good!

Easter Holidays and Illness Do Not Mix....

I have a cold...
TJ has a cold..
And as of this morning, Lea has a cold as well. We are up to our ears (and noses) in snot!

Unfortunately TJ has had the cold for the entire week - and being asthmatic it tends to go straight to his chest which means he spends much of the night lying awake and coughing - and if TJ is awake then so are we!

Papa has been great this weekend though - he looked after TJ for most of the night on Saturday evening and on Sunday morning he sent me back to bed whilst he got on with being the parent in charge. I even got a coffee in bed although I was summonsed to prepare lunch - which is a good job otherwise our Sunday roast would probably have been take out pizza... I am not a fan of giving the children junk food, although it would probably have been a popular choice as there would have been little or no chance of brussels sprouts appearing on the plate.

But this morning Papa had to return to work as normal - although I imagine he was glad of the rest. However, Lea decided to fill Papa's shoes and bring me a cup of tea. It was very sweet of her but then I remembered that she is not allowed to use the kettle, so I prepared to get angry with her. 'It's ok, Daddy,' she said, pre-empting my rage,' I didn't use the kettle I just waited until the tap got really hot and used that water.' I smiled benevolently and sipped the lukewarm dishwater masquerading as tea... 'delicious,' I smiled as I sipped the tepid pale brew. She stood smiling at me watching me drink it for what seemed like an eternity before she left the room and I could tip it away.

The holiday is now dragging - the British weather doesn't help. We went for a walk - just to get out of the house and TJ had barely taken four steps before declaring that it was too cold to be outside and that we should get our exercise courtesy of the wii in the comfort of the playroom. TJ loves the wii... especially the football games.. although he has to win and if he doesn't then tears follow - we have a box of tissues on standby ned to the console just in case.

Oh well, I am killing time while parenting the best way I can when I am under the weather. One child is in front of the TV the other is on the... yes, you've guessed it... the wii!

Fever Pitch...

Today I have had a complete roller coaster of a day. Completely barking!!!!!

This morning TJ and KC swapped roles - TJ decided that he was now well enough to go to school (I think that fact that today was his class Christmas party had something to do with it) and KC decided that he would come down with a fever and a cold. So TJ skipped off to school while KC sat in bed. And I got to look forward to another day stuck at home twiddling my thumbs whilst knowing there were still a million and one things to do before the big day next week. Or that was the plan...

By 10am KC was racing around the house - his cold miraculously cured - asking to watch TV all day and eat spaghetti bolognese - I had been successfully duped by an 8 year old!!!! Then I got the call from the school - TJ's nose had pretty much exploded, his temperature was over 40 degrees and he probably needed immediate medical attention. So KC was packed off back to school faster than his fibbing little legs could carry him - luckily, the only thing going on was the class Christmas party (I'm sure the teachers love this time of year - they get the parents to send in the food and then leave the kids with the nasty Poundland mince pies whilst they tuck into the Waitrose ones in the staff room). I collected a very blood stained and morose TJ and headed off to the walk in medical centre - after being advised by the doctors receptionist that A and E had a three hour wait - the medical centre only had a 90 minute one... great!

My past experiences of A and E havent been particularly good - the medical centre was even worse. Seriously, I'm sure I have caught something. The place was full of children with various ailments. I carried TJ in - 'Why's his nose bleeding?' the receptionist barked. 'Because he has a very high fever,' I replied. 'OK she said - but nose bleeds usually have to go to A and E.' We were allowed to stay.

About 3 hours later the doctor saw us - by now, TJ was practically comatose in my arms. But at least the bleeding had stopped. TJ has a rare medical condition. The doctor saw this and asked if he had any family members with the same condition in case TJ needed a blood donor. It was a question I had never even thought of. The boys have different fathers and KC doesn't have the condition - but TJ has other full siblings who are adopted elsewhere. So somehow I shall have to find their families - what if one day they need help like this - or, heaven forbid, TJ needs that blood off them? We can't go to the birth family. Its one of those sudden 'adoption reality checks' we have every now and again. Of course the doctor doesnt know he's adopted, nor that we are gay. So he  ploughs on asking questions about the boy's mother, was she the carrier - what about siblings. I had to stop the doctor and tell him that TJ was adopted. I don't mind but all of this is done in front of him and as you never see the same doctor at these medical centres you are always repeating the story. There is a letter that I have written and is on TJ's file - but no doctor ever seems to read it.

Anyhow, the upshot is that TJ is now dosed up on anti-biotics after catching a nasty virus.

But on the upside, the major pet store - where we purchased the boy's bunnies - that turned out to be full grown adults and decided to try and kill each other in front of the children, called and offered to pay the vet bills, refund the cost of the rabbits and give us a second hutch so we can separate the two bunnies and don't have to disappoint the children by giving one back - that was a lovely gesture and seemed to come from a genuine need to correct their mistake.

Weekend Woes...

I have the flu... It's official! And it is the worst case ever recorded by man... Or me anyway...
Do my family care? Not a jot... No, they still need feeding, sending to school, taking to football club, picking up from after school club... And then need feeding again. Do they thank me for my trouble? No, they simply complain that my constant sneezing is interrupting their televisual pleasure... So I 'accidentally' allowed my snot to drip into their baked beans... Before you call social services, I made that last bit up... But it's what I would have done if I had been treated like that by any of my customers  in my days waiting tables as a struggling actor. As a struggling parent, I simply nodded and laughed it off before going upstairs to cry quietly in the bathroom.

This weekend saw us packing in preparation for our move on Friday. We are having people in to do the main packing but I wanted to allow the children to pack their own 'precious' items. Their toys, bears, favourite pictures etc all went into big boxes which the kids then sealed and wrote on. It's important for them to be involved in the moving process as they have moved so many times in their little lives and usually to a different family member, foster carer or eventually to us, so it is obviously a traumatic time for them. I also took the opportunity to pack some of our breakables. KC is currently obsessed by antique programmes and as I was wrapping a few bits up he asked if they were valuable. 'Not really," I replied, " But they are valuable to me."
"Is that because they are old?" he asked. "Yes, " I replied. He went on, "And old things are valuable?" "Sometimes," I told him.... He thought about this for a second and then said, "Then Granny must be worth loads!" ... I won't be telling my Mother that bit.

Luckily, Mum is away with her sister and some girlfriends on an alcohol fuelled week in Wales. She has told me that she as no phone connection while she is away, so I am unable to call for packing advice, stress relief or begging her to take the kids off my hands! Even asbo dog has gone into the kennels, so it must be a seriously alcoholic trip....

Little Lord Fauntleroy made an appearance this morning. I got the boys up for breakfast... KC came down as usual but there was no sign of TJ. I shouted up the stairs that breakfast was ready to which I received the reply, "I would like my breakfast in bed please... Bacon and eggs!" I am sure he has been secretly watching Downton Abbey... Needless to say he was soon downstairs munching his cereal when he realised that his valet was on strike and nothing was coming up the stairs. He then noticed my cold... And started to cough. "I'm too sick to go to school today, Daddy," he said. "Oh dear," I replied, "that's a shame as its football club today." He stopped coughing and then said, " I think I will manage today... But I shall definitely be too sick to go tomorrow." I nodded and got them both ready for school.