Yet again, I begin a post by apologising for taking so long to write anything.
It's so easy to blame everyone else - but the truth is that things have been going so well recently that my fear is that I may appear to be gloating and, even worse, I may jinx myself and upset the equilibrium.
But here goes!
I'm going to focus today's post on our youngest son.
TJ has had such a difficult few months. Firstly he had his diagnosis for Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, which hit him really hard and this was followed by a full post adoption assessment (something which is available to all adopted children, but is rarely offered as its expensive - so adoptive parents, if you haven't been offered one, just ask, the authority can use the Adoption Support Fund to pay for it, so it shouldn't cost them anything.) Anyway, TJ had a full assessment which revealed the depth of his ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) - obviously every child is unique and TJ's main area of concern was his ability to read social cues etc. We had always put it down to his unique way of looking at the world and potential Attachment Disorder - yes, he has that one as well. By the end of the assessment he had so many letters attributed to his many diagnosis that he started to look like a Countdown Conundrum. At first I was mortified. Yes, we had always expected these things, but to have someone sit down and explain everything to you is a very different matter. I then went away and read everything they recommended, another reason I haven't had a lot of time to write - I've been reading lots. And, the more I read, the more I kick myself, thinking how did we miss this?
Well, we missed it because we weren't looking for it or we didn't want to see it or maybe we knew but were in denial? So many possibilities. Maybe we were simply avoiding the dreaded labels.
But the one thing labelling TJ's foibles has done, has been to open so many doors to him. Particularly with education.
He was accepted into a specialist school and, whilst to begin with we were concerned as to how he would fit in - it hasn't bothered him a bit. He loves it. He has even talked about his learning difficulties and how the school are helping him.
Yes, its very like a primary school in its outlook, but he is so less stressed. I haven't had a single day of school refusal - yet (touch wood). He is up every morning, with his uniform on and ready to go. He loves maths, science and forestry... I didn't even know forestry was a thing! He has made friends and has even been invited to a party. I can honestly say that he is a different little boy.
He still swears at me on a regular basis (I blame the FAS) and he still has his stubborn moments - like refusing to leave the house for my birthday dinner as he had a TV programme to watch and was already in his pyjamas. But these are little things that pale into comparison with what we were dealing with before and to be honest, I can sit back and laugh at them.
I can breathe again.
The house is so less stressful, Papa is calmer, I'm calmer and this boys actually seem to get on (most of the time)...
Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about KC.
Two positive posts in two days - how will you cope! :>
It's so easy to blame everyone else - but the truth is that things have been going so well recently that my fear is that I may appear to be gloating and, even worse, I may jinx myself and upset the equilibrium.
But here goes!
I'm going to focus today's post on our youngest son.
TJ has had such a difficult few months. Firstly he had his diagnosis for Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, which hit him really hard and this was followed by a full post adoption assessment (something which is available to all adopted children, but is rarely offered as its expensive - so adoptive parents, if you haven't been offered one, just ask, the authority can use the Adoption Support Fund to pay for it, so it shouldn't cost them anything.) Anyway, TJ had a full assessment which revealed the depth of his ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) - obviously every child is unique and TJ's main area of concern was his ability to read social cues etc. We had always put it down to his unique way of looking at the world and potential Attachment Disorder - yes, he has that one as well. By the end of the assessment he had so many letters attributed to his many diagnosis that he started to look like a Countdown Conundrum. At first I was mortified. Yes, we had always expected these things, but to have someone sit down and explain everything to you is a very different matter. I then went away and read everything they recommended, another reason I haven't had a lot of time to write - I've been reading lots. And, the more I read, the more I kick myself, thinking how did we miss this?
Well, we missed it because we weren't looking for it or we didn't want to see it or maybe we knew but were in denial? So many possibilities. Maybe we were simply avoiding the dreaded labels.
But the one thing labelling TJ's foibles has done, has been to open so many doors to him. Particularly with education.
He was accepted into a specialist school and, whilst to begin with we were concerned as to how he would fit in - it hasn't bothered him a bit. He loves it. He has even talked about his learning difficulties and how the school are helping him.
Yes, its very like a primary school in its outlook, but he is so less stressed. I haven't had a single day of school refusal - yet (touch wood). He is up every morning, with his uniform on and ready to go. He loves maths, science and forestry... I didn't even know forestry was a thing! He has made friends and has even been invited to a party. I can honestly say that he is a different little boy.
He still swears at me on a regular basis (I blame the FAS) and he still has his stubborn moments - like refusing to leave the house for my birthday dinner as he had a TV programme to watch and was already in his pyjamas. But these are little things that pale into comparison with what we were dealing with before and to be honest, I can sit back and laugh at them.
I can breathe again.
The house is so less stressful, Papa is calmer, I'm calmer and this boys actually seem to get on (most of the time)...
Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about KC.
Two positive posts in two days - how will you cope! :>
