Tuesday 18 September 2012

Questions, Questions, Questions!

Today I have had to make two journeys. One with TJ to the eye hospital for a check up and one with KC for his weekly therapy session. Both involved long car journeys, both involved a lengthy conversation...

TJ was at his most profound. 'Who made the buses? Who built the houses? Where do cows sleep?" lots of lovely kiddy questions that are totally adorable... Well, the first few are, after that it just gets annoying and you find yourself saying 'God did' or 'I really don't know'' and my favourite, 'Why don't you ask Papa?'

This led us onto mine and Papa's roles in his life. 'Why was I called Daddy and Papa called Papa?'  'Were those our real names,' and on being told that thy weren't then 'why couldn't he call us by our real names. ' This last question was borne from the fact that the eye doctor used his birth name constantly, much to my annoyance and I had to explain to TJ that his name will change properly once the judge says its ok. He thought about this for a long time and then said, 'Well, if I am not adopted yet then I shouldn't call you Daddy until the judge says so, because you are not my Daddy... Yet.'

At first I was a little hurt by this comment but when I thought about it I realised that it must have made perfect sense to a six year old and at least he could be that honest with me. Hopefully, the adoption will go through tomorrow and we will finally be able to give him our surname.

A little while later the conversation took a completely different turn as TJ suddenly asked me, "Why don't my toys come to life like they do on tv... I sat up for ages last night and nothing happened!" I guess I will soon have to break the news that tv lies to us!!!!!!!

KC on the other hand had an entirely different conversation in the car. His questions were all about what he will do when he is a grown up. There will be no homework, no tidying of his room, no Brussels sprouts and no cabbage... But Papa and I will be in his world because we love him and he loves us." It was at that point I nearly had to pull the car over... as I sneezed (I have a horrid cold)
But, for him to be saying this as I was taking him to his therapy session was really touching. He knew, as did I, that he was going to have to revisit the darkest times of his young life. No seven year old should ever have experienced life as he has and, yes, she may be difficult and he may not play well with others but he is still our son and it is at moments like this in the car that I realise just how much he needs us, for all his bravado.

Mind you, getting him to do his homework instead of watching tv triggered quite a different set of emotions.. Sigh!

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