Our lives have reached a state of normality. Well, as normal as my family life can be anyway...
I went back to the gym and despite it only being a 6 week break since my last visit I could only do about half of my pre-summer holiday routine. On the treadmill I was huffing and puffing but probably bore more of a resemblance to one of the three little pigs rather than the sexual predator that is the wolf. I moved onto the rowing machine and came close to a Titanic moment. Even getting on the stationary bike with its inbuilt fan didn't give me any pleasure as instead of blowing my hair in a sensual manner the fan simply blew the sweat from my now bright red head and sprayed it behind me showering anyone who walked past. I didn't stay too long. I couldn't really as my shorts had suddenly shrunk 3 sizes... Either that or Kylie Minogue had carried out a secret celebrity makeover on my wardrobe and swapped my gym shorts for a pair of her hot pants, which makes much more sense than the alternative explanation...
A little later I continued my health kick by meeting a friend in the local park and walking our dogs. Her dog, a barking mad spaniel, tore around the field at a furious pace. My dog took one look and went home, literally! While we were chatting I turned to my friend and said, "Have you seen my dog?", to which a lady sitting nearby said, "I think your little dog is currently crossing the road." ... And she was right, there she was crossing the road and walking home. I ran... Yes, ran to get her, much to my friends amusement. But I eventually caught up with the little bitch, my dog not my friend, who had managed to reach the local inn and luckily a client of the pub recognised her and grabbed her before she tried to cross the busy road by herself. It would seem that my dog is as exercise-phobic as I am.
The boys came home from school, Lea had caught a cricket... Which she kissed in the hope that it was Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio. I don't actually recall Pinocchio kissing the cricket but if it gives Lea a conscience then it's ok by me. TJ then piped up telling his sister that instead of just kissing the cricket why didn't she bite it's head off and see what happened....
We really have to work on TJ's empathy....
I went back to the gym and despite it only being a 6 week break since my last visit I could only do about half of my pre-summer holiday routine. On the treadmill I was huffing and puffing but probably bore more of a resemblance to one of the three little pigs rather than the sexual predator that is the wolf. I moved onto the rowing machine and came close to a Titanic moment. Even getting on the stationary bike with its inbuilt fan didn't give me any pleasure as instead of blowing my hair in a sensual manner the fan simply blew the sweat from my now bright red head and sprayed it behind me showering anyone who walked past. I didn't stay too long. I couldn't really as my shorts had suddenly shrunk 3 sizes... Either that or Kylie Minogue had carried out a secret celebrity makeover on my wardrobe and swapped my gym shorts for a pair of her hot pants, which makes much more sense than the alternative explanation...
A little later I continued my health kick by meeting a friend in the local park and walking our dogs. Her dog, a barking mad spaniel, tore around the field at a furious pace. My dog took one look and went home, literally! While we were chatting I turned to my friend and said, "Have you seen my dog?", to which a lady sitting nearby said, "I think your little dog is currently crossing the road." ... And she was right, there she was crossing the road and walking home. I ran... Yes, ran to get her, much to my friends amusement. But I eventually caught up with the little bitch, my dog not my friend, who had managed to reach the local inn and luckily a client of the pub recognised her and grabbed her before she tried to cross the busy road by herself. It would seem that my dog is as exercise-phobic as I am.
The boys came home from school, Lea had caught a cricket... Which she kissed in the hope that it was Jiminy Cricket from Pinocchio. I don't actually recall Pinocchio kissing the cricket but if it gives Lea a conscience then it's ok by me. TJ then piped up telling his sister that instead of just kissing the cricket why didn't she bite it's head off and see what happened....
We really have to work on TJ's empathy....
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