... but this time it was with our younger son TJ and the experience could not have been more different than our last.
TJ had an asthma attack during the night and no matter how I tried I just couldn't settle him, so I called our local out of hours clinic and they simply said 'bring him in now'. I took him in and we were taken straight into the treatment areas - TJ thought he was extra special, I began to panic. They popped the pulse indicator thingy on his finger and everyone looked at the screen and went very silent - again, very scary. Then they said 'right, his oxygen levels are through the floor' and popped him onto one of three nebulisers. I say three as they kept changing the level of dosage in order to regulate his breathing. Eventually they manage to get him back on track and the doctor was so kind. He said to me 'I didnt want to have to admit him to hospital as I think that would stress your son out even more, I notice he is adopted and adopted children often don't cope with separation very well'. It is so refreshing to meet professionals who just 'get' the different ways in which adopted children have difficulties where birth children may not. A birth child knows that their parent will always come back for them, to an adopted child that may not be the case, no matter how much we reassure them, in the back of their mind they will have been abandoned.
Mind you, this attack was on the back of a weekend of parties - both kids were invited ice skating and for the first time, we left them with the birthday boy's family - lots of 'dont worry they'll be fine' type things being said. although Papa and I did worry - we worried that we only had two hours to get lunch and some shopping in! Yay! We said 'goodbye' and 'be good' and then shot out of there before anyone realised what they had committed themselves to. I noticed a lot of parents seem to do that at kids parties - just drop the kids off and run!!!!!!!
When we came back it was mayhem. KC was still on the ice (apparently they couldn't get him off) and clutching onto a penguin stabiliser whilst trying to knock other skaters over - which he found hilarious. TJ, on the other hand, had had a Little Lord Fauntleroy moment, and on being given his burger (which he ordered at the beginning of the party) promptly threw it back at the waitress shouting at her that he 'didn't order cheese!' Obviously, when the birthday boy's mother informed us of this behaviour we were mortified - and a little surprised as to why TJ would order burgers when he hates them. But words were had and groundings given. I dont know if I should share this but I needed to make TJ understand how rude he had been and telling him off gets you nowhere as he simply dissociates and shuts down mentally. So I let them both have beans on toast for tea (no TV and straight to bed afterwards) and then served them the delicious birthday cake that had come home with them as part of their party bags (also confiscated). They were about to tuck into their cake when I said, 'Right, before you take a mouthful. I want you before every bite to say 'I'm sorry for being rude to Birthday Boy's Mum' and then you can eat and swallow, then before you take another bite you say the same thing and so on.
They looked startled but I made them do it and by the end TJ was crying and saying I dont want any more cake - but I made him finish it, complete with his phrase. I have to be honest I quite enjoyed the experience (is that a bad thing to admit to?) but at the end he went to bed full of remorse and promising to eat whatever is put in front of him - especially when he is out.
KC is grounded just for being a hooligan and not being good like he promised - so its a quiet week without TV for us this week.....
...and now I'm at home all day with a bored 6 year old without the use of TV to baby sit him and keep him quiet... He has to rest for 48 hours and take horrid steroids, keeping him still is quite a chore so as I type this I have to admit that I buckled and he is currently sat in front of CBeebies... but to be honest, I think he got quite a fright with his asthma attack so I won't be too hard on him... KC on the other hand.....
TJ had an asthma attack during the night and no matter how I tried I just couldn't settle him, so I called our local out of hours clinic and they simply said 'bring him in now'. I took him in and we were taken straight into the treatment areas - TJ thought he was extra special, I began to panic. They popped the pulse indicator thingy on his finger and everyone looked at the screen and went very silent - again, very scary. Then they said 'right, his oxygen levels are through the floor' and popped him onto one of three nebulisers. I say three as they kept changing the level of dosage in order to regulate his breathing. Eventually they manage to get him back on track and the doctor was so kind. He said to me 'I didnt want to have to admit him to hospital as I think that would stress your son out even more, I notice he is adopted and adopted children often don't cope with separation very well'. It is so refreshing to meet professionals who just 'get' the different ways in which adopted children have difficulties where birth children may not. A birth child knows that their parent will always come back for them, to an adopted child that may not be the case, no matter how much we reassure them, in the back of their mind they will have been abandoned.
Mind you, this attack was on the back of a weekend of parties - both kids were invited ice skating and for the first time, we left them with the birthday boy's family - lots of 'dont worry they'll be fine' type things being said. although Papa and I did worry - we worried that we only had two hours to get lunch and some shopping in! Yay! We said 'goodbye' and 'be good' and then shot out of there before anyone realised what they had committed themselves to. I noticed a lot of parents seem to do that at kids parties - just drop the kids off and run!!!!!!!
When we came back it was mayhem. KC was still on the ice (apparently they couldn't get him off) and clutching onto a penguin stabiliser whilst trying to knock other skaters over - which he found hilarious. TJ, on the other hand, had had a Little Lord Fauntleroy moment, and on being given his burger (which he ordered at the beginning of the party) promptly threw it back at the waitress shouting at her that he 'didn't order cheese!' Obviously, when the birthday boy's mother informed us of this behaviour we were mortified - and a little surprised as to why TJ would order burgers when he hates them. But words were had and groundings given. I dont know if I should share this but I needed to make TJ understand how rude he had been and telling him off gets you nowhere as he simply dissociates and shuts down mentally. So I let them both have beans on toast for tea (no TV and straight to bed afterwards) and then served them the delicious birthday cake that had come home with them as part of their party bags (also confiscated). They were about to tuck into their cake when I said, 'Right, before you take a mouthful. I want you before every bite to say 'I'm sorry for being rude to Birthday Boy's Mum' and then you can eat and swallow, then before you take another bite you say the same thing and so on.
They looked startled but I made them do it and by the end TJ was crying and saying I dont want any more cake - but I made him finish it, complete with his phrase. I have to be honest I quite enjoyed the experience (is that a bad thing to admit to?) but at the end he went to bed full of remorse and promising to eat whatever is put in front of him - especially when he is out.
KC is grounded just for being a hooligan and not being good like he promised - so its a quiet week without TV for us this week.....
...and now I'm at home all day with a bored 6 year old without the use of TV to baby sit him and keep him quiet... He has to rest for 48 hours and take horrid steroids, keeping him still is quite a chore so as I type this I have to admit that I buckled and he is currently sat in front of CBeebies... but to be honest, I think he got quite a fright with his asthma attack so I won't be too hard on him... KC on the other hand.....
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