Friday, 26 October 2012

School Trip

Today I was 'volunteered' to be a parent helper on my oldest's class field trip to the relics of a roman villa. Apparently there are more roman villas in our part of the world than anywhere else in the UK.... We are truly blessed. I arrived at the school as the rain poured out of the sky, great  stuff! Sixty kids at a damp archeological site. I was given my group, which included KC and one of his best friends, plus another child who was late, his Mum had overslept and they were on their way, apparently.... To balance my three obviously dysfunctional kids I was presented with three over achieving children, I knew this as the minute I walked in they started sprouting A level knowledge of the Roman way of life... I knew my day was not going to be a straight forward one.

How right I was.

The kids were all given a worksheet to complete upon arrival (apparently all the answers were at strategic points around the villa. There were things to draw and every group (we were group 7 of 9) was allowed a ten minute break in the gift shop. Great!

I hadn't counted on the competitiveness of other parents... They were off! Some of the parent leaders informed their groups that they would not be having lunch until the entire worksheet was completed. I heard another tell her group that if anyone needed the toilet they had to do it now or wait until they wre going home. Manic Mums... I was the only Dad there, as you may have gathered. I didn't want to enforce the 'learning' aspect if the day on my group... I would like to say that this was as a result if my 'Guardian reading'' middle class method of education, whereas in reality the little girls knew far more than I did about how to complete a year 3 worksheet and the boys were too busy racing around and pretending to be Roman gladiators to give a damn about the history of the building. I spent most of the time running around after the three musketeers and preventing them from further destroying the building and in between checking the answers of eager youngsters desperately seeking approval of their answering ability. Eventually if was lunchtime... I sank to the floor to consume my cheese sandwich and flask of coffee...

It was during this period that one of my group discovered that one of the other groups had completed their worksheet in full... All 14 sections. The Mum in charge was loving it, then one of my over achieving charges said quite loudly 'I wish we were in her group instead of this one...  We are only up to number 11!" I would have responded but I was trying to stop KC's best friend from flicking his cheese sandwich at another school group who had just arrived...

Then it was our turn in the gift shop.  KC wanted everything he saw, including a full roman soldier outfit for £50. I told him he had £5 like everyone else. He ended up buying a rubber sword, despite my showing him all the fantastic books about roman life... As I showed him he said, "it's my pocket money and you said I could get what I want... And I don't want a book." Fair enough. So he bought the sword and I bought the book. Mainly so I could share my knowledge of Roman life with the obnoxious threesome... Actually they were lovely, just very earnest!!!!!

We then came home and I was so pleased to open that Friday bottle of wine whilst Papa does the bedtime routine!!!!!!

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