Tuesday 9 October 2012

Therapy and Homework

The beauty of having no Internet and working on a 3G network is that I can write my blog anywhere, well anywhere with a decent reception, which, oddly enough, includes the local park where my kids are currently tearing around playing football.

TJ came home from school today without his jumper. I looked at him, "where is your jumper?" I asked. "my teacher took it off me." came the reply. "why did the teacher confiscate your jumper?" I looked at him sternly... There was a silence and then he simply said, "because I was wearing it in my head and pretending to be a girl." I have never been so proud....

KC had his therapy session today. I don't go in with him and one day I am sure he will let me know what happened to him in his birth family, we know what social services have told us but I am sure the reality is much harsher and is something that we, as parents, need to brace ourselves for. As the children slowly become attached to us and we to them there will come a time when hearing about their abuse will be no different to any parent who hears how their birth children have suffered. It is at this point that many adoptive parents can suffer from secondary trauma, that is they take on the traumatic experiences their children eventually share with them. I guess there are two ways of looking at this, firstly that it is humbling that they would feel safe enough to share these often horrendous experiences but secondly that we should prepare ourselves for our own reaction to them.

On a lighter note tonight is homework night and for once, all homework was done without screaming or pouting or any of the usual responses. TJ is learning a poem for pirate day on Friday. I pulled out a copy of  'One Eyed Jack'. He is learning it with gusto complete with hand actions. I proudly told his teacher how well he was doing. She looked at me and said 'I shall look forward to seeing that' then she paused before adding, 'and the other twenty versions I am bound to hear.' I never felt so deflated... But we don't care, our version of 'One Eyed Jack' will be Olivier Award Winning... Or the teacher will have me to answer to!!!!!

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