Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Facebook and Gay Marriage...

This morning I read a Facebook post that infuriated me - I'm sure the person that posted it didn't mean anything and is a very nice person (I dont actually know them - but thats the problem with Facebook, anything automatically becomes shared and then public property)

Anyway, I wont go into it but the crux of the matter was the gay situation in Singapore - for those of you who don't know, Singapore still outlaws gay relationships - well in particular gay sex and a well meaning person had written that it was unfortunate that the right wing Christians didn't realise that gays were 'created' due to the hardships they suffered in childhood, development issues, abuse and lack of love and I'm afraid I saw red.... and I wrote this:

'As a gay man, partner of over 10 years in a civil partnership and raising two 'damaged' children, I am horrified by some of the comments on this thread and to even suggest that I am gay due to abuse, lack of love etc is frankly ignorant and offensive. I was raised in a church going family, filled with love, my grandfather is a vicar as is my uncle. I battled with my homosexuality because the church taught me it was wrong and therefore I was not worthy. It has taken me a long time to reconcile my faith and accept that this is all part of my journey. I cannot deny who I am as if I did that I would be offending the very God who created me. But I can learn to live in a moral way. I am faithful to my partner,I love my kids, I attend church regularly, am confirmed and have had my children baptised. I don't judge anyone for their beliefs but I won't be told that I am gay because I am in some way damaged... That insults the parents of gay people everywhere.'

For me it was a very personal thing to share but I think it speaks for me and for many who I am sure recognise that their sexuality is not 'caused' by anyone or anything.... maybe some disagree - feel free to tell me why... I love a debate...

Which then brings us on to the issue of gay marriage, which seems a lifetime ahead of the issues currently being debated in Singapore.

I thought about it and actually we should thank the right wing church for denying gay people the right to marry...

When I was single I was able to drop everything and go to New York with my friends - just to meet up for a weekend, I went to the gym, I was healthy and fun loving.

Now don't get me wrong I love Papa with all my heart - but we decided that we would take advantage of the new equality laws and held our Civil Partnership 6 years ago. We then wanted what our straight friends had - a family. So we applied to adopt and were blessed with our two children (whom I also love dearly). But now I have put on at least 3 stone, drink too much ,am constantly stressed and exhausted. Papa and I argue over things like whose turn it is to clip kids toenails and why is there no milk for breakfast. We are constantly tired and broke - with every last penny going on our kids...

Just think if the Right Wing church had their way we would have been spared all this and would be happily attending gay orgies and shopping while listening to Kylie. So the Right Wing Church does love gay people - behind the facade of vitriolic hatred they simply wanted to spare us gays from being as unhappy as they obviously are in their lives!!!!!!

Luckily - I have an amazing support network of friends and family and no matter how bad it gets there is always someone to call or somewhere to go and have a coffee while the kids run screaming in another room. Much better than sitting in a room with other like minded people spewing hatred towards a group of people we have probably never met.

After all what goes around comes around... at least I hope so!


  1. Such a lovely post!! I agree that Gay Hookup sites and other social media sites have given extreme opportunities of bisexual people to find potential partners. I have heard about a lot of gay couples that met either on Gay sites or facebook and tied wedding knots later.