Friday, 11 January 2013

The word of the day is... gay!

Well, I was planning on writing a lovely blog about children, pets and fruitcake - but instead it is probably going to more about the conversation I just had with my youngest child.

Namely, because he walked through the door after coming home from school and said ' Daddy, there is a gay toilet in school - its the toilet that when boys use it they have to kiss each other.' Great! There wasn't anything homphobic about the way it was said, and I don't think the comments were meant in a nasty way - just usual 7 year old curiosity.

My first instinct was just to sit down and think about where this was going to go. TJ obviously thought this had caused a problem and said, 'I didn't say anything about it - I think its disgusting when two men kiss each other.' I was about to freak when he added, 'Or when a man kisses a woman - that's even more disgusting, cause its a girl!'
'So all kissing is disgusting is it?'I asked him. He nodded and then added quickly, 'Well, not when grown ups do it - that's up to them!'

So I went upstairs and pulled out my copy of 'Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From' (which is also called 'Its Amazing' in the USA. For any parents and teachers this is an amazing book (see what I did there) that goes through where babies come from, families and the different types of families as well as the idea of love. Its very easy to use and you can pick and choose the chapters that are relevant to the question you have just been asked by your child - why do they always ask things when you are least ready to answer them!?

Anyway, the book covers what it means to be straight, gay and lesbian. It looks at how familes are made up of single parents, single gay parents and parents of both sexes or the same sex - in a child friendly way. By the end of our chat TJ looks up and says, 'So you and Papa are gay?' 'Yes,' I replied. 'Oh, ok,' he said. Then added, 'So am I gay too?' - this was obviously the question that had been worrying him, 'No,' I said, 'You are 7, you probably won't know if you are gay or straight until you are much older. But being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, I'm gay, Papa's gay, we have gay friends and gay godparents... but you also have straight friends and straight godparents - and they all love you just the same.' I sat back impressed with my own parenting skills. TJ looked at me thoughfully, 'Cool,' he said, 'I didnt want to decide just yet.'

I guess the other chat about it not being a choice will come later... He then rushed off and pulled out a Crunchie bar from his selection pack - which I cannot believe has lasted this long - and ate that while watching a cartoon.

He was about halfway through his chocolate bar when TJ suddenly said, 'But I think I would like to marry a boy - then we can make loads of mess and play Skylanders all day!'

All is back to normal again!


  1. Yet another wonderful post. A few weeks ago, I was talking about love with one of mine and, very impassioned, she said:
    "I'm not saying I'm gay and I'm not saying I'm straight. I'm just saying I'm lonely."


  2. But its great that she can be so open with you... heartbreaking but also heartwarming at the same time as she can come to you for the reassurance she needs... xxx