Birthdays...

Before I even start I have to let you know that today's post is not a flagrant advertisement of my upcoming birthday (although cards and presents would not be rejected because of this) but it is about my eldest son's reaction to a birthday other than his own.

Last week Papa took both boys out to 'secretly' purchase my present - despite having a list of 'suggested' presents and Papa had suggested that the children donate their pocket money towards the cost.

TJ happily gave up his cash (I put it back into his piggy bank later) and chose a present that Papa then paid the difference for. The Sprog refused. He was not giving up his money. He decided he would make something.

Of course, I'm fine with that - but he hasn't actually done anything about it. As my big day draws closer I am enjoying reminding him that my birthday is this weekend.... TJ is desparate to give me his present - he keeps giving me clues, such as "It begins with a 'P" and "It can go on the wall." (no surprises there although I shall do my best 'surprised face in the morning) He is genuinely excited...

The Sprog sat at the breakfast table and simply said, "I didn't get you anything." I looked upset. "How sad. But have you made something - that would be nice."

"No, I don't want to," he said.

I looked sad... (I used Acting face number 17... Sad, with a hint of love)

"Well, its just a birthday," he said, "Its only another day."

"Ok, you are right," I replied, "I shall remember that on your birthday - we don't need presents or a party, its just another day. I like that idea - saves a lot of hassle and money."

He looked stunned.

"Not my birthday," he said, "That's my day."

"Just another day," I said...

"What about my birthday," piped up TJ.

"Would you like to keep celebrating birthdays?" I asked him.

"Yes," he replied, "I want a football."

"Then we will celebrate your birthday," I said, "And you can come to my party."

"I wanted to go to Legoland for my birthday," said the Sprog.

"I don't think so," I said, "after all it will just be another day."

He wasn't speaking to me when he got on the school bus this morning...

Papa Turns the big 40!!!!!

Yes, it finally happened. All the speculation and worry came to nothing. Papa turned 40, the world didn't end, he didn't suddenly turn grey, although neither did his 'life suddenly begin' as all his cards suggested - it was a normal day...

Well, as normal as any day can be which begins with Papa refusing to get out of bed or to see his own children. 'Leave me alone,' he muttered from under the bed clothes when I suggested that he should allow the kids to come and wish him a happy birthday. By now both were outside the bedroom door clutching their gifts and cards. I eventually got him to sit up - I used the same principle I use on the children, 'If you let them come and see you once they have gone to school then we can go shopping if you like... maybe a nice lunch?' We already had dinner planned in the evening with our friends, so I know that was taken care of and that, if the worse came to the worse, I had a good 8 hours to coax him out of bed - perhaps using M and M's?

The children were allowed in to see Papa - he greeted them as I imagine Queen Victoria greeted her brood upon the death of Prince Albert. 'Happy Birthday, Papa,' the boys shouted in unison - their faces eager with anticipation.

'Is it?, ' came the forlorn reply from under the duvet, 'Is it a 'happy' birthday?.'

The kids looked a bit confused, 'Its your birthday and we made you a card and bought you a present!'
'The children's present is a clue to my present,' I added jauntily.
'I don't want any presents,' Papa said.
Once again the kids were dumbfounded (which is not easy to do)

'Daddy made a cake,' piped up TJ, breaking the silence, 'I picked the flavour - its banana and chocolate.' TJ might have got away with this if he hadn't added, 'But we didn't have 40 candles.'
'That would be a fire risk,' I laughed. I soon stopped laughing as Papa glared at me.

Papa opened the kids card - which was lovely and then their present, a book on Digital Photography. He started to smile. 'Did you get me a camera?' I passed him my present, a Digital SLR camera. He beamed. 'I've always wanted one of these!' he said.

To be honest, I didn't have much choice in the way of present buying due to the fact that Papa had in previous weeks left pages surreptitiously open on my iPad on the Curry's Camera page - or on a certain brand of camera's website. The hints were palpable. He even left me his credit card to pay for it - unfortunately as a stay at home parent studying psychology whilst writing a book and a blog I don't earn much...
Anyway - he perked up after that and we went to Bluewater, which was a fun experience without any children in tow. Papa bought shoes and we had lunch. We were normal gays again! Hooray!!!!!
Then I had to end his idyllic dream - 'Come on,' I said, 'Time to pick the kids up from school.'
'Do we have to?' he said, 'They just remind me how old I am.'
And that dear hubby is the beauty of children!!!!!!

That evening we went out with our friends to a lovely restaurant and the children (both ours and theirs) behaved impeccably and slept all the way home. That evening as we went to bed, I said to Papa, 'So did you have a good day?'
'It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be - in fact it was quite fun,' he replied. Which I think is the best that we could have expected.....

What was noticeable over dinner was how open KC now is about his adoption. He told our friends son all about how adoption is really scary. You don't know where you are going or what will happen to you. You don't know the new family and you don't know how to behave. His friend listened intently and we as adults, listened but tried to pretend we weren't... Both to save his feelings and our own... I think if we had let him talk to us he would never have been so candid and we, as adults, add an emotional quality to what is to him, a simple fact of life. Children are adopted, they have no control over where they go or what happens to them. His friend turned to him and said, 'I've never been adopted... Yet!' We decided it was time to move on and the boys spent the rest of the evening discussing the differences between the major world religions... I kid you not!

A Christmas Carol... Concert

Yesterday night was KC's Christmas Carol concert, which was lovely simplified version of the standard church carol concert. A few sing-a-long carols with some soloists and few Bible verses thrown in.

The evening started with an instrumental version of two carols - I think one was Silent Night - the jury is still out on the other. These were played by a small instrumental group - I can't really call them a band. But they worked valiantly. The two clarinets and two flutes tried to harmonise and the lone trumpet made its call. What was unfortunate for the children is that there was no-one to conduct them so they all played at different speeds and in some cases a seemingly different tune. As the girls on the wind instruments played with grace the boy on the trumpet obviously thought he had heard his cue and came in at full pelt - rather like a large elephant breaking wind. It was about this time that the lady next to me erupted into uncontrollable laughter. I looked at her with disdain - these children were trying their best and were unaided... Then one of the clarinets seem to have turned the music two pages at once and she started into the chorus whilst the others remained on the verse. But she was lost in the music so didn't notice the angry glares on either side of her from her fellow musicians. The lady next door to me was crying. Her little toddler son, said, 'Mummy, I can't see - so Mummy duly placed him on her shoulders where the little darling decided to boot me in the head. Such fun! Luckily I know them very well so could see the funny side of my near concussion.

The band finished, the audience clapped, my friend calmed down and straight away it was time for KC and his class to sing. They were doing a 'modern' rendition of 'The Holly and The Ivy'. It's great that schools want to modernise carols but they really need to let the parents know how the new tune goes. It was obvious that none of the children knew how the carol went and the parents hadnt been able to help them. In my own experience whilst I was rehearsing KC, I sang the tune and he looked at me and said, 'It doesn't go like that.' That was it, rehearsal over. So come the big performance KC simply stood there opening and closing his mouth trying to fool us all that he knew the song - when of course he actually ended up looking not unlike a ginger gold fish - to be fair he wasn't the only one mouthing along... so I knew which other parents were also flummoxed by the tune. I also knew which parents had gone online and downloaded the correct version for their darlings to learn - their children were in the front singing with gusto! Next time I shall be downloading with the best of them!

The carols went and the readings were read and then the school chaplain got up and gave a lovely talk about a little girl giving her father his Christmas Present. There was a lot of reverent story telling (are all vicars wannabe actors) and lots of interaction.... then at the end it transpired that the empty box the little girl had given her father was the best present a child could give... the gift of love. I fought the vomit reflex as it suddenly dawned on my that KC would now have an excellent excuse to buy me and Papa nothing for Christmas... and we wouldnt be able to reprimand him. I think I may try the same thing on Papa - I can't wait to see his face when I present him with a huge box - full of nothing... but my love....