Ch...ch...ch...Changes...

Is it still cool to quote David Bowie song lyrics - probably not, but we have definitely been through a period of great change over the past few weeks.

KC changed school, we managed to get his new school named on the EHC Plan the day before he was due to start - it was as if I had spent the whole summer holiday trying to get hold of various different agencies, the local authority, the school, the virtual head, post adoption social workers...  and everyone was on holiday at different times then, the day before school restarts, wallop! They are all in at the same time and I spent a full day on the phone co-ordinating KC's start at his new school.

It had even reached a stage where I was seriously considering home schooling him - I had joined Facebook groups, taken advice from friends who home school and was setting up a mini classroom for him - I even quit my job (but that's another story). I told KC of my plan and he looked horrified - 'But, you'll make me learn stuff!' He exclaimed - "That's the point,' I replied.

Apparently school isn't about learning its about having fun and sitting in the classroom chatting - maybe the change of school was a good thing after all.

Anyway, the boys are now in different schools again, which was actually in line with their therapist's view anyway - although we hadn't planned it that way. Her feeling was that TJ would be more able to grow and become more resilient if he wasn't in his brother's shadow - plus, as their relationship was still quite a dysfunctional one, it may be a wise choice to allow them both to lead separate lives and then come back together after school to share experiences etc. I don't know if it will work - but I do know I now spend around 45 minutes on the school run twice daily!

But I don't regret leaving work at all - it has made me re-evaluate stuff - I know we are lucky to be able to afford to have me at home (even if it is just for a short while whilst we 'reset') I had forgotten how much adopted children in particular need you to be there for them - and how much stuff they were missing out on. So we shall see what happens next - ideally I can find something part time that allows me to get out and meet people.

But on thing is certain - I am now free to blog again and so I'll be looking at how to rework this existing blog to adapt to the boys growing up - they no longer want their lives put on line for all to share - unless, they have agreed it first! Which is fair enough I guess...

Watch this space!!!!!

What a difference a month makes...

Can you believe a whole month has gone by since my last post, that's ridiculous!

I don't think I've ever gone so long without writing something but this month is seen a lot of changes in the Williams household. To begin with, I went back to work... What was supposed to be a part time job suddenly became full time at the start of the school term and so off I went one September morning with both boys, who are now in the same school, to work. I'm suddenly a teacher again... 

That seems wierd even to read... To work. I haven't 'worked' for nearly four years... Not including parenting, blogging or writing, of course. But now I am back in gainful employment and paying the tax man a monthly allowance.

My mum, Granny, has also been very ill and was hospitalised for over a month, I won't go into detail, but she is on the mend now. What was surprising was how much her sudden illness effected not only her life, but all of ours as well. The boys were distraught and I hadn't realised how much she meant to them, particularly to TJ who has had a bit of a 'glitch' behaviour wise. But that was to be expected, after all he has just started a new school and he wasn't best pleased when he heard I was going to work there as well. It wasn't the working that bothered him as much as the knowledge that there would be no one at home if he got sick... Or to make his dinner each evening. They are now on school lunches, with a sandwich or beans on toast for tea... Papa doesn't get home from work until around 7.30 and I'm not planning on spending my entire evening cooking for everyone like some one man canteen.

But we are now settling into a routine.

School has been interesting, I'm not sure if the kids have worked out our family dynamic yet, I even had one of my pupils tell me there were children in the junior school with two dads... She was very pleased to tell me about her school's diversity policy. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I already knew. I'll wait and see how long it takes them to work it out. Not that I'm hiding anything, when they ask me I will tell them. But I'm also not going to turn up to work in my best tiara (it's not part of the dress code).

So I shall let the blog go into a new direction.

Being a gay family that not only live together but also spend all day in school together. Let's see how they, the other children and even the teachers react to everything and how we adapt to this new, very open, life.

Another chapter of the blog begins... Who knows it may even become a sequel... Or a second debut... I'm not sure how that would work...

What a week!

Its been a bit of a hectic week so I have to apologise for not updating the blog as regulalry as I should over these past few days. Sorry...

Yesterday was indicative of the week - I had a therapy session in the morning. Its a parenting session, ideally for both of us but wierdly enough my therapist can't understand why Papa has to work during the day. As important as therapy is I have to constantly explain that with only one of us working now we kind of rely on Papa remaining in employment to eat and as brilliant as his bosses have been about the amount of time he has needed off work, I think we would be pushing it if he then asked for a day off every week to attend a therapy session, especially when there isn't any tea and biscuits. I've always imagined adult therapy sessions to involve food and tissues - maybe I have watched too many US TV shows - in the UK therapy consists of two ancient armchairs, no heating and definately no budget for refreshments in a draughty council office. Luckily my therapist (who also looks after the 'participants' on the Jeremy Kyle show - after they have poured their souls out about their neighbour eating their dog or some such nonsense) is also a heavy smoker - so we have to take our session outside at regular intervals for her to sustain her nicotine levels.  Yesterday was a lovely session though - she actually sat with me and simply said 'you and Papa have done an amazing job - think of where you were last year and give yourself a pat on the back.' At first I thought she was just flattering us - after all therapy is bloody expensive and I'm sure she has bills to pay - but then I did sit and look back - and where we are now is actually pretty amazing. Despite all the ups and downs we have come through as a strong family unit. Yes, we have issues and thery are very different to other families issues but we are getting there and, finally, enjoying life.

Tomorrow is KC's birthday - I can't believe it's his second birthday with us. But what is just as fantastic is that this year he is excited! I think last year - his first birthday with us, he wasnt quite sure what was going to happen - do we celebrate birthdays? - will he get presents?. He didn't even ask for anything, just waited till the day to see what he got. This year he has a list, he is bright and his eyes are sparkling and he is genuinely excited - it really is a transformation. He has figured out that he is getting a lizard - mainly because we are going to see his Godparents tomorrow for the day - going horse riding and then a birthday tea - and his Godfather breeds lizards (and snakes too but we dont mention those). Top of heiswish list was - yes, you guessed it - a lizard! So today I nipped out and picked him up a skate board. This is so in the morning he will get that and hopefully the lizard will then be an extra surprise. Although the lizard may not happen as Goddad is away and its down to me and Godmum to get said animal into a cage... I'm not sure how that will work but it will probably make a great blog entry.... but, I know he would be grateful for whatever he gets - simply because he knows what it is like to get nothing.

Anyway, they have had a great week at school - rehearsing for their carol concert and nativity play. TJ has just told me that the baby Jesus got a monster off one of the kings. I looked at him, 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'Yes,' he replied, 'The king has to give Jesus Frankenstein'. I explained that it was Frankincense and was a kind of nice smelling perfume. He looked at me, 'Don't be silly, 'he muttered, 'Why would baby Jesus want perfume - thats a rubbish present, I would give it back.' I hope no-one gives TJ anything he doesnt like this year, they would soon know about it!

Yesterday I was in the post office, mailing a pile of Christmas cards - (the stamps cost more than the cards!!!!) - I overheard the lady behind me, 'This year, she said,' I have told our Angel that she is not going to have a lot of presents, we just dont have the money and I thought it better to tell her before she sees the small pile of presents.'
'It's so true, I think everyone is struggling this year,' her friend replied.
'Yes, this year I've only managed to buy her everything on her list - there's no extras.'
Well, its a good job her daughter will understand the nature of frugality then. I always thought the 'list' was there so we could pick a couple of things from it... but maybe I am old fashioned....

Today, I went up to London - to meet with a very nice literary agent (I had to say that as he reads this blog) to get some advice about how to turn this little blog into a book. Yes, a book! It was fascinating to learn how it all works and now I am really excited about it - lets see what happens. But just as exciting was going up to London - by myself, wearing nice clothes - and not having to think about the kids all day. Papa and I even went out for lunch... a grown up day. Its amazing how the little things suddenly mean so much when you have kids...

Now the boys are sat in front of the wii playing the French version of Sonic and Mario at the London Olympics. 'Why is it in French?' I asked. KC looked at me, 'Because they wear nicer clothes.' he said. A fashionista in the family - I was stunned - then I saw that the characters were all dressed as some sort of insect. I don't remember the Ferench team wearing bumble bee onesies. So maybe we don't have a budding fashion designer after all - although considering what passes for fashion nowadays he may be on the right track.....