Wednesday, 15 February 2017

Cyber-Bullying - the title says it all!

┼┤So this week our youngest was subjected to cyber bullying.

It's not something I've ever really experienced. Of course, as adoptive parents we are extra careful around social media and attend various lectures and training regarding it's use but this is the first time it has really hit home.

Essentially, we gave both boys mobile phones for Christmas - under the strict instructions that they were not allowed social media accounts - not only because most social media companies insist on a 13 year old age limit but also because we are aware of the dangers of their being approached not only by strangers but also by birth family members. Whilst we are cute happy to eventually look for birth parents, we want to do it when the children are ready and not when one of their 'do-good' friends decides to help them - although I can easily see that happening one day in the future.

Anyway, I came down to find TJ sitting on the stairs, holding his phone and crying. I knew something was amiss.

Eventually he gave me the phone and showed me what the other children in his class were saying to him via a text messaging group. It was awful. He was a cry baby - he cried when they poked and punched him in class - he ran away. He didn't play football he played 'face-plant' when they tripped him up. He was 'a gay' - a 'real gay' - just heaps of nasty stuff.

What worried us was not only the tone of the language used and the cruelty and cold calculated way in which they pursued him - but the threats of real physical violence to him.

Remember, TJ is very small for his age, he is on 'the spectrum (don't you hate that term) and is currently starting medical investigations to look into the reasons behind all this (see previous post on the visit to the Doctor).

So we reported it to the school and they naturally investigated everything fully.

I was called in and the headteacher explained all that had been going on. That the other boys in his class had all been watching YouTube videos about 'roasting' and decided to set up a chat group entitled 'Roasters' in which they would pick on a boy (in this case TJ) and proceed to roast him... Such fun. I'm sure Kenny Rogers never thought of this when he set up the chicken restaurant!

But what was most surprising was that at the end of it all, the headteacher told us that all the children who had been 'roasting' Tyler were at a party together and... this was the bit that stunned me... they were with their parents and yet the parents didn't know anything about it - it just goes to show that we all have to watch exactly what our kids are up to when they are on their mobile devices. If kids want to make mischief, they will find a way to do it.

Sometimes I wonder if I have become an over-protective helicopter parent, hovering around making sure my kids are completely safe. We can only do our best I guess.

I don't know.

Still TJ was happy to go to school and happy to leave his phone at home!!!!!


  1. It is the hardest thing in the world to watch your child being bullied. It provokes feelings that I never thought I was capable of. I hope you find a route through it and keep TJ safe.

    1. Thanks Al.. he seems to be ok now. But I'm hoping that because we acted on the information he gave us that he will still feel able to share things with us.

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