Holiday - without the kids!

We did it!

We went away without the children.

I'm still not quite sure how we persuaded my sister to look after the both of them - but once she had said yes there was no turning back. Tickets were booked and we headed off to the big apple to have some quality adult time...

Except that I spent the first two days worried about the children - would they be ok? Would my sister ne ok? What would happen if either or both children were rushed to A and E? What if we were both killed in a freak taxi collision? Who would look after our kids then - had I put my sister down as their guardian in the will? how would they cope? How would she cope?

Suddenly the whole idea of a holiday without the boys sweemed far more stressful than one with...

Luckily, Papa had it all in hand. He produced a bottle of gin and a wifi subscription- on the proviso that I only checked in once a day to make sure everything was ok. I could do this whilst he caught up with some work  - he is a work-a-holic, but thats something both and the kids have come to accept and understand. If Papa doesn't make contact with work on a regular basis then he too can become stressed and any benefits of being away are quickly lost.

It turned out the kids were having a great time - they went to Harry Potter World, they stayed up late, they went to the movies - they ate too much pizza and junk food - they were having so much fun!

So I eventually relaxed and we spent the rest of the week eating and drinking far too much.

When we got home my sister said she had a great time and would happily have the boys again, although maybe only for a long weekend next time - perhaps a week was slightly too much - for all of us. But all of my fears were unfounded - they all had fun.

What was lovely though, and I suppose is the main point of my ramble, is that TJ, for the first time ever, told me he missed us - he even came close to using the 'l' word - but thats still just a step too far for him at the moment - who knows maybe the next time we go away he may be able to say it.

But, I came to a realisation as well - although i loved spending some time alone with Papa (and we needed it) I also love spending holiday time with the boys - even though they moan and complain and generally make most holidays as difficult as they can - having them there still makes it worthwhile.

The Ice Bucket Challenge...

Well, it's been an interesting summer,

We had an amazing trip to see Papa's family in Singapore and had time to catch up with lots of old friends, as well as mananging to take a short break to Thailand, staying in a friend's villa - it was lovely.

But all of this was happening whilst our house was being re-built. We have a home by the river and, unfortunately, whilst this seems idyllic it also means that occasionally bad things happen - like the garden seeming to subside or the ground floor sinking. But we agreed that it could all be fixed whilst we were away on holiday. Except when we came back, it wasn't. So the poor dogs had to stay in kennels for an extra week whilst we went first to Granny's and then onto a rented apartment in London, near Papa's work.

That was great fun as we were able to do lots of touristy things, like the Tower of London and the Cutty Sark and then meet Papa afterwards and still have dinner as a family.

It was after one of the trips that we decided to stop off at a local pub and wait for Papa there whilst I had a cheeky glass of wine (well, I was still officially on holiday) and the boys had lemonade.

It was whilst we were here that we witnessed probably the strangest 'ice bucket challenge' yet.

I'm not a fan of the challenge - as anyone who has challenged me knows. I did the honourable thing - I made my donation and then put the ice in a gin and tonic. I think the challenge got a bit out of hand myself, but that's just a personal opinion and who am I to question anything that raises money for charity? But here is what finally put the hole in my charity bucket...

We were sat outside enjoying the early September sun when suddenly a group of banker types came and stood next to us and started to remove their shoes and socks. We were by the Thames so I was concerned that we might be witnessing a mass drowning of the financial industry, or if we were really lucky, estate agents, but no. They were (I assume) senior managers who had all decided to do the ice bucket challenge together.

Duly stripped to their trousers and shirt sleeves they stood as their 'minions' (well, someone lower in the pecking order) came along with the ice buckets - each bucket also containing a bottle of champagne. By now both boys were fascinated and were itching to push through the suited crowd and see what was going on.

One of the waitresses sat next to me to watch. 'Some of them have spent over £100 a bottle", she said.  There were 5 bottles in 5 buckets.

'Are they donating a similar amount?" I asked her. She wasn't sure.

The senior managers then each made a long speech into the flurry of smart phones pointing at them - I was reminded of the French Revolution for some reason and then once they had finished giving their presentations (I half expected them to produce a power point display) they then all poured the buckets over themselves and then popped the champagne bottles spraying champagne, F1 driver style, over their colleagues.

It all seemed to be great fun. The boys certainly loved it and spent ten minutes kicking lumps of ice into the river.

But somehow it grated just a little on me. I can't explain why. I've heard the arguments that the challenge wasted gallons of water but here we were wasting bottles of expensive champagne - and I'm sure any charity would have been grateful for the £500 spent on it.

It was at that point I decided the ice bucket challenge had out lived its usefulness.

However, this week it is the MacMillan bake off coffee morning - I shall be taking part and am sending Papa in to the office clutching a batch of cakes to sell - hopefully for £500. I won't be eating any though - I'm on a low carb diet! (again...)

Hooray for Sports Camp!

'Hooray for Sports Camp!'

That was the cry that went out this morning as the boys got ready to head off to the local primary school to attend a two day half term sports camp. Only the cry came from me. The boys did not want to go...

I was stunned.

They had spent the past three days sitting inside and moaning about ... well, about everything. The weather has been horrible so we haven't been able to go out and do anything we had planned. Throw a bored elderly dog and a hyperactive puppy into the mix and you have a recipe for an incredibly stressful few days. Stressful for all of us.

We did the craft and the colouring and the obligatory jigsaws and the entertainment pack. In the end I resorted to TV to keep them amused. I know thousands of parents the world over have just judged me - I don't care - I needed a break and so did they - TV gave them that. We don't have satellite or cable, just the free to air channels - so they sat watching cartoons, with lengthy commercial breaks that gave them enough time to fight in between.

So I booked them into sports camp. I thought they would be thrilled. They weren't.

KC was on his best behaviour. "What's going on?" I asked him as he helped clear away the breakfast things. ""I'm being good so you don't send me to camp," he said. "You will love it once you are there," I told him. "But I want to stay home and watch TV and play my DS all day. I'll be so quiet you wont even notice I'm here," he promised.

Whilst it's nice to know they want to stay at home, this dad was not for turning. "I've paid for it now," I explained, "And anyway you need to go and run around."

"Do I have to have a packed lunch?" TJ asked, "I don't like packed lunches."

This was the first I was hearing of this - from the sandwich king of the universe.

"Think of it as a picnic," I said.

"What if it rains?" came the smart Alec reply.

"Then its a picnic indoors!" I retorted.

We went. They dawdled. Then when they saw their friends, who's parents had all obviously given up, just like me, they raced ahead and ran into the school hall leaving me clutching two dogs and a packed lunch. I handed the packed lunch in and left without even a goodbye from the boys. At least they were happy.

Mind you, yesterday, TJ went to his piano leson and, with KC watching, he played his first duet with his piano teacher - with mixed chords and everything. I was so proud I can tell you I shed a tear. He finished and he was so happy and proud of himself. Even KC gave him a round of applause.

As we left KC turned to me and said, "Can I learn to play a musical instrument, like a guitar? Then TJ and I can start our own pop group?"

"Sure," I said and promised I would look into it - which I will, after all I am a firm beleiver that music is therapeutic and who knows, one day I may be watching them receive their first gold disc!

Holiday Whinge....

Today is probably going to sound a bit like a whinge post...

I'm not going to apologise - I just need to moan to someone... so it might as well be you.

Last night I had a lovely conversation with my mum which finished with her asking me if I was happy. I was a little taken aback. "Well," she said, "your Nan is convinced that you aren't very happy at the moment and now I'm worried too."

Up until that point I had been fine - or I thought I had. Now I was worried that I might actually be unhappy but just not know about it.

I don't know what had brought this epiphany on, particularly as I had just spent the past two weeks in the company of my mum - one week she came to us and then the kids and I went to hers for a week, so I would have thought that if anyone would have noticed my latent misery it would have been her.

If I am unhappy its because I do feel we have wasted so much of this summer break.

I look at pictures of friends and their families enjoying their summer holiday - either here or overseas and realise that we have barely seen Papa in the past month. Firstly he was in India and then Singapore. Then he came home for a few days before he jetted off to New York, then when he came home we went to see Mum, so he could look after the pets and currently he is in Africa whilst I have put the boys into holiday clubs because I need to finish editing the book before my deadline of Sept 1 and, lets be honest, we are all three sick of the sight of each other. TJ is desparate to get back to school and see his friends and Lea just wants to find out what her new school will be like. Both kids hate me for making them do their times tables, reading and music practise - but I just need them to catch up with their peers. Of course they don't see it like that.

I know we usually take our main holiday in February for Chinese New Year in Singapore - but this year that may not happen as the tenants who live in our old house have decided it would be much more fun to go on holiday with their kids than pay the last two months rent... so even that's been taken away from us.

I have forgotten what its like to go with Papa and the kids and sit on a beach for a week and do nothing except play and eat! Which is what family holidays should be about in my opinion...

Mum compares it to when she was a young Mum and my Dad was in the RAF and used to disappear for long periods of time... I'm surprised she wasnt a raging alcoholic - or maybe she was just good at hiding it. Mind you, she also pointed out that he very rarely went away over the holidays...

But its also not had a good effect on the kids - they really miss their Papa - TJ in particular and I think that I am carrying a lot of their sadness at his not being here.

Yesterday, Papa called me from Johannesburg, he final destination on his Africa sojourn - he's not having a good time either. He's pretty unwell, but won't see a doctor. So I got cross with him and he then said that he had called for some sympathy not to be told off. As I pointed out I had only just put the kids to bed - TJ was playing up and refusing to sleep prefering to jump as high as he could on his bed as soon as I walked out of the room and by now it was 9.30 and I was missing Midsomer Murders...

He was complaining about the internet connection overseas and how he couldn't get stuff done that was needed in England and how his tummy was hurting and he was having chest pains and yet when I told him to see the doctor I had my head bitten off... sigh...

So I told him I thought the kids needed a break and his reply was 'they're on holiday aren't they'... but somehow being stuck in a house with me for two more weeks doesn't have much of a 'holiday' feel about it...

So after all that... no Nan, now I'm not happy at all...

Babysitters and Cereal....

So our Singapore friends left yesterday - I took them all to Gatwick and we waved them off.

The children loved the airport, although at £10 for parking and £14 for 3 drinks we are not going too often!

Suddenly the house seems really quiet. We have gone from having a busy household with 3 children and a toddler to just the three of us again. Although TJ is happy as he can now get back into his playroom and play his football game on the wii... which is lucky as today we have seen the first really rainy day of the summer holidays so far. Lea is glued to the TV while I catch up with work.

The children don't know that we are going to make the most of the damp day this afternoon as I have them both booked in for haircuts and they both did their maths homework this morning. We have been doing times tables. I have purchased a cd that they can sing and dance along too whilst singing through the times tables - TJ was even heard singing it in his room this week - whether or not it actually goes in is debatable but it makes me feel like a better parent - so there is definitely an upside.

Whilst Papa was away my friend and I booked our Turkish cleaner twice - not to clean but to babysit - as the children all know her she was an obvious choice - and we got to go out and have a good catch up over dinner without constantly having to entertain 4 kids. We were a bit nervous the first time - mainly for the sitter, as we thought the kids might play her up. But we came back and she told us they had been good as gold, in fact the kids were eager for her to come again, so we decided to go out for the second time on Friday night.

I had just stepped out of the door when I realised that I forgotten my phone so I nipped back home. We had literally only just left the house yet when I came in there was the baby sitter surrounded by the kids pouring out huge bowls of sugar packed cereals - "What's going on?" I asked. "The children are all so hungry," she told me, "Just like the other night - they have not had any food so I am feeding them with the cereal as they are all so hungry. You can't let the children go to bed hungry..."

I stood there stunned. The kids had just had a huge fish finger and chip supper - as a treat if they would be good for the sitter, they even had cakes! The kids were all staring at me with huge eyes and open mouths....

The kids looked at me - I looked at them , the sitter carried on serving cereal. "They have been fed," I told her, "but I guess they are still hungry - however, once they have eaten that they must all go straight to bed." The kids looked suitably guilty and I decided to play this opportunity.

I collected my phone and went back out the door to tell my friend what had happened. We quickly both agreed that we were sill going out - and fast! As long as the kids were happy then we felt less guilty about leaving them and this way we knew there was no way we were going ot be called back as the kids would all be as good as gold! And sure enough they were - we even had time to go to the pub! (see previous post!)

Oh well.... at least everyone had fun!

Papa is back from his Singapore trip this week and he is off to New York on Sunday, the day after Nan's 90th birthday party - its going to be another busy weekend.