Flu....

Yesterday TJ came down with Child Flu - its the boy version of manflu - he had it bad. He woke up at about 2am and then continued waking up on the hour throughout the night. Great fun.

Papa and I took it in turns on that first night - I did 4 times and Papa did 1! Just the one - he had work next day and I only have to study, write, organise a family Christmas and two children to care for. I should have realised!

Yesterday I set out all the Christmas menus and got online to do the shopping. Only 4 delivery slots left! I went through my itemised list and had bought nearly everything I needed when I looked at the clock - I had forgotten about KC - he was still at school... and school had finished 10 minutes ago - my heart raced. I ran out of the door telling TJ to stay in bed, I would be 5 minutes. As I ran the computer beeped - I looked back - 'You have 5 minutes before you lose your delivery slot' it said. Bugger!!!!! Food or kid???? Which should I do? I opted for the child - who I envisaged as stood outside the school gate alone and crying. I ran to school - no, I literally ran! I got there to find no KC... What was going on? I went into the school yard to see KC and 4 friends playing football with a teacher. 'Daddy!' he cried, 'You came!'. The teacher looked at me disapprovingly. 'I'm so sorry,' I said, 'TJ is at home sick and I have to get back.' I hope the teacher believed me as I grabbed KC and he waved goodbye to the other 'forgotten' children. My name is now probably on a 'list' somewhere in the staff room...

We ran in through the front door - I raced to the computer as it flashed up - 'Your designated time has now been lost - please log on again to rebook a delivery slot.' Even the computer was admonishing me!

I logged back on to find all the delivery slots over Christmas had now gone - I have £120 worth of shopping in my trolley and nowhere to send it to - unless I wanted it on Dec 28th, which defeated the object of shopping early! I put my head in my hands knowing I was now destined to have to go to Sainsbury's on Christmas Eve as the weekend before I am up in Cheshire collecting my mother and the ASBO dog for the Christmas break. Then suddenly a slot flashed up as available. Obviously, another sap had gone somewhere else and missed their 'designated shopping time.' I booked it - 7am on Saturday - but I don't care. We can get the shopping put away and I'll then head up to Mum, its going to take me all day to get there anyway. I breathed a sigh of relief and then the screen froze when I was paying... Is it really worth it??????? I cried for a while and then called the Customer Services Department. It helped that TJ was crying next to the phone. The Customer Services lady was lovely - took my card details and even gave me a voucher code to save on the delivery cost - which is £10 for the festive period!!!!!

So I am all ready - I hope.....

On a positive note - my insurance will cover the damage to TJ's teacher's car!!!!! And I wont lose my no-claims and, even better news, as I am not claiming for my car I don't even have to pay any excess... Honesty was the best policy. The chap at the insurance company was very impressed that I had left my details when the car was unattended... apparently most people don't, which I find shocking... I didn't tell him it was TJ's teacher I hit....

Last night Papa agreed to take turns watching TJ if he woke up in the night. Of course he did - beginning at 2.30am... 'Your turn,' I whispered in Papa's ear... I won't tell you what he said but the second word was 'off!' Charming. Needless to say 'sharing' the night time duties involved me getting up on the hour every hour - so as I type this I am slightly cross eyed!

Today is KC's Carol Concert - I didnt think I would be able to go but my lovely adorable and slightly mad Turkish cleaner has agreed to watch TJ while I go to the school. Bless her!!!! She definately deserves a bonus!!!!!!

Political Correctness

Today's title doesn't really refer to the political pettiness we often see around us every day but rather to the sudden change in attitude from our youngest son... Personally, I blame school!

TJ has always been a little mysoginist - he often tells us how much he hates 'girls' and how he thinks certain jobs are for women, like hairdressing and cleaning whilst men should be playing football and wrestling - not necessarily at the same time.

One poor young male student who was on the check out at Sainsbury's was given one of TJ's hard stares and from his small perch at the front of the trolley he suddenly said, 'Why have we come to this counter? We normally get served by a girl.' Naturally I was horrified and tried to laugh it off, explaining to the lad that normally we go to a different counter and TJ likes the lady who serves. To be fair, the lad probably didn't care and was just counting the hours until he could go to the pub, but TJ then shouted, ' No, I don't like her - but he is doing a girl's job.' At this the student became suddenly alert and said indignantly, 'Well, at least I've got a job.'
'Daddy hasn't....' was TJ's instant retort.
The lad wasn't sure what to do with that information, but he looked at me pityingly as I unloaded my bottle of gin. Great - now even the counter staff at Sainsbury's think I am an alcoholic, unemployed stay at home Dad - 'I work from home,' I explained with a smile, ' You don't work,' TJ exclaimed, 'You play on the trampoline and eat bacon...' This accusation has been hurled at me many times by our youngest and I have no idea where it came from. although, every time it is mentioned Papa seems to give a sly grin.

Anyway, this morning on the radio Chris Evans (the DJ not the film star - I have to clarify that for our US readers) played 'Candyman' by Sammy Davis Junior  - he plays it every Friday at 8am. KC always sings along and it's very sweet (well, it would be it's candy...). Today TJ suddenly shouted out, 'That song is wrong. It should be Candyperson.' I was a bit stunned that he should react so violently to a song. 'Really,' I asked. 'Yes,' he replied, ' Candy 'man' is sexy...' ( I think he meant sexist) '...and the Candy could come from a man or a woman so it should be Candyperson.'

I couldn't really argue with that so have asked him to write to Chris Evans and let him know. 'I will,' said TJ, ' And I'll tell him to stop playing that song 'cause its rubbish!'

'What would you like him to play instead?' I asked. He thought about it and suddenly said birghtly, 'They could play my arm fart' and he proceeded to make fart noises with his armpit - charming!

I'm sure the BBC will be updating their weekend playlist shortly...