The blogpost that began the story of 'Tango'

I had been asked to find the original blogpost that inspired the new play 'Tango' by Joel Tan, and after spending an hour or so trawling through my blog I found it... from Feb 2013.

Rather then expecting people to trawl through... here it is.

Enjoy!

Coming Home...

That's how it feels coming back to Singapore... Especially when we see our lovely friends. We have a lot of people to catch up with and started today with a friend I made on my first day working in Singapore back in 1999. She is now married, to another great friend, and have two adorable children, one of whom is in love with our son.... We shall ensure their betrothal by the end of the trip. More friends to meet tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow... Great fun!

After a lovely afternoon, in which we persuaded our friends to take our washing home with them (they have a maid!) we decided to do some shopping. KC needed summer pyjamas, as the onesie he brought with him is just too hot in evenings where the temperature does not fall below 25c. Papa also decided he needed a new T-shirt, so we went to a few stores and he finally found one he liked... And today he learned the lesson that all Caucasians learn very early on... Singapore does not cater for British 'physiques'! ( unless you are small and skinny, of course).

When we lived here Papa used to laugh when I came home after a days shopping in a state of depression. Here I was a large size ( even when I was skinny)... It was even more depressing when you walk into a shop and the assistants would scream 'no large sizes!' And usher you out of the door.... Being Caucasian in Asia stops being fun when clothes shopping... I'm sure it's even worse for the ladies!

To be honest, one thing I have noticed is that Singaporeans do seem to be getting bigger, obviously affluence does affect size as people eat out more and fast food outlets are now everywhere. But today, Papa understood my depression when shopping. He went into a local store (that also has branches in the UK). In the UK he is sized as a medium... Which is fine. But today he went into the same store to fine he was an XL! He was so shocked that he simply threw the clothes back and stormed out of the shop. I ran after him and reminded him that this was Singapore and therefore they were Asian sizes... He looked at me disparagingly, "Asian sizes... Asian sizes!" He repeated himself for dramatic effect before a drawn out pause... "I am bloody Asian!" Words failed me.... But inside I was smiling!

Later that evening we decided to go out for a quick dinner and as it was getting late we popped into a local Chinese restaurant chain. 'Good and cheap' as Papa puts it. All was going well until the waitress decided she needed to know more about our family. As I took TJ to the toilet I came back to find Papa and the waitress having a 'heated' discussion in Chinese, with KC sitting there. The gist of it was that she wanted to know where the boys' mother was. When Papa told her they didn't have one she seemed confused and then asked if they were his children and if he had married an 'Ang mom'. Calmly, Papa had told her that the boys were adopted, by us... she didn't seem able to accept this and started to argue with Papa about same sex adoption and her belief that it was wrong. It was at this point that I came back. This seemed to make her angrier. As did my trying to calm everything down.

The waitress then threw the cutlery down and said she couldn't serve us. Her senior manager came over and Papa started to tell her what had happened. She then served us herself whilst the other waitress sat in the corner glaring at us. It didn't make for a comfortable evening out but at least the boys were unaware. We left quietly and I ensured we had a late night drink to calm everyone down... the boys had an ice cream... ice cream at 10pm in the heat of the tropical night is great fun!

Maybe Singapore isn't quite ready for a gay family just yet.

One Armed Tango!

So it's been a busy couple of weeks in more ways than one.

On the family front KC decided that he would spend the last three weeks in plaster as he managed to break his hand.

He was out on his skateboard in front of the house - apparently trying out some new 'epic' stunts. Then I heard a cry. I rushed out to see him to find him clutching his hand. He had taken a fall onto the pavement. But after checking that he could still wiggle his fingers and that there was no blood I sent him back out with a flea in his ear - I gave him a good telling off for not using his safety gloves, wristbands, helmet etc and told him that now he would understand the reason why he had to wear them.

He seemed to take this on board - for at least 5 minutes - before racing off out with his friends again.

That evening he sat in front of the TV complaining that his hand was hurting. "It's funny how these things only start to hurt on the Sunday evening before school next day' I quipped. I then sent him to bed an told him there was no way it was broken and I was not going to the local A and E on a Sunday night.

The next morning we got up and he was still complaining. I looked at his hand - which had turned a strange shade of blue and seemed to be very swollen. I was reminded of Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory after she had consumed the blueberry gum...

"I think we had better go to the hospital" I said and off we went.

The hospital wasn't too crowded and we were seen quite quickly - well, within the four hour time slot anyway. As we sat waiting I stretched and leaned onto the arm of my chair - only to hear a stifled scream and see KC's eyes nearly pop out of his head. I had leaned onto his bad hand. "If it wasn't broken before - it is now!' He cried through gritted teeth.

The nurse had a look at him and we went off for an x-ray. True enough, it was broken, and I now felt like the worst person on the planet. A point that was not missed by KC, who soon after being put into his plaster stated that from now on he could only eat with one hand and that we should therefore go and get him a burger... feeling guilty I took him to the local Burger King.

So he then spent the next couple of weeks reminding me of how cruelly I had treated him - how I had dismissed his cries of pain and how meanly I had treated him.

I gave him a couple of days of this before we went back to our normal ways.

Then came the date to have the cast taken off - he healed very quickly, but it was only a very small fracture apparently.

We queued up to see the nurse. 'What's your date of birth?" the nurse asked KC. He looked at her with a blank expression. She tried again, "When's your birthday?"

"In December," he replied.

"What day in December were you born on?" she went on. He looked at her, "I don't know, I was just a baby..." I thought the nurse was going to fall over she laughed so much.

She asked him what had happened and he told her about his 'epic' trick and how he had nearly managed to complete it.

'Was the trick worth the broken bones?" she asked.

'Absolutely!" he replied.

She looked at me pityingly - 'You're going to be coming here a lot, I think." she said laughing...

Scarily, I think she may be right.

But now we can announce our other news...

My little blog has 'inspired' a new play and its going to be produced!

Written by the Singaporean playwright Joel Tan it's called 'Tango' (loosely based on the book title 'Tango Makes Three' - which was banned in a number of countries for its compassionate dealing with gay adoption by two penguins. Joel wanted to write a story about a gay adoptive family who try to return to Singapore but find that the climate there (being gay is still illegal) won't recognised their family, their married status or indeed the adoption of their children and how that effects the other members of the family who are practically denied access to their grandchildren. His point being that the grandparents and grandchildren are kept apart by a law that doesn't even apply to them.

Anyway, one of my very good friend's children will be playing the boy (an amalgam of both our children) in the play - which is lovely! So we are heading back to Singapore in the next week or so to help promote the play but also for my friend's son to meet with KC and to discuss his life being an adoptee to gay dads, having Singaporean grandparents and Aunts and Uncles - despite being white British and sharing his experiences.

The sad thing is that he won't be able to watch it as, in their infinite wisdom, the Singapore censorship board have made the play an adults only affair - so no-one under 18 is allowed to watch it, even though its a story about love, family and overcoming prejudice.

Hopefully, we can sneak the boys into a rehearsal... fingers crossed!

I'll keep you updated!!!!!!