Thursday, 17 January 2019

New Year - Different Issues....

We've had a strange couple of months - filled with life's ups and downs.

KC's birthday came and went - he didn't want to invite any friends, no fuss, just a family dinner and a trip to the movies. At first I thought that was sweet but now I realise there is an ulterior motive. Essentially KC doesn't want any of his new mates at school to know he has two Dads and an autistic brother. I'm not quite sure how to deal with that yet - but I think the first step will be to sit him down and talk to him about it.

My fears were confirmed at his first parent's evening at school, which I attended a couple of days ago.  Papa is currently away in India for work so I was the only one able to go - KC seemed happy about this and when I was chatting to his form teacher she told me that KC had told her that if we both attended that she was to refer to us by our names not as KC's parents. Whilst she was trying to encourage him to be more honest with his peers she also understood that he didn't want to be seen as being different.

When it was TJ's birthday straight after Christmas (naturally, let's make sure December is as expensive a month as we possibly can!!!!!) TJ decided he didn't want KC at his bowling party - I say party - he only had one friend, but that was all he wanted and he didn't want KC there. However, KC was happy to oblige. I was a little surprised that he didn't want to come but then I realised it was because he didn't want to be spotted at the bowling alley with us all.

It's a quandary.

At the moment I'm not making a fuss about it. I think I'll have a chat with him and let him know that I've noticed whats going on and that other people are noticing too - maybe remind him that in this world of social media that people will find out eventually and what will his response be then - he can't deny us forever.

Still, TJ had a lovely time bowling with his friend. Luckily his friend doesn't care if he wins or loses, he was just having a great time - TJ on the other hand has to win - so it was a match made in heaven and both boys left happy. We then met KC in a local pizza restaurant where we had a corner booth and KC could hide if he saw anyone he knew - luckily TJ didn't notice or care - he just likes pizza!

On a positive note, KC's parent's evening went really well. The teacher's love him. No issues so far. Looking ahead at options, we agreed he wasn't academic in nature, but he excelled at PE, Art and Music - especially the drums, which his music teacher is encouraging. But, most importantly, he is happy. I'm hoping once he has settled he may be more open with his friends - maybe.

It's TJ's parents evening next - I asked him today what he told his friends at school about his family. He just shrugged and said, 'I don't care what people think - it not their business' - there's a lot to be said for seeing the world differently and more importantly, being surrounded by those who have a similar outlook...

On a professional note - my lovely editor has nearly finished working on my first book - so hopefully, it will go back to my agent soon and be back before the publishing houses again early next month.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!


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