Tuesday, 16 January 2018

New Year - new... well new everything!

So living on one wage is tough - really tough.

But my new year's resolution is to make this work - by this, I mean us as a family.

And that means budgeting - a lot!

So we have started tightening our belts - finding a monthly food budget and sticking to it.

It's the sticking to it bit that's the hardest and making sure you resist the temptation to 'pop down the Co-op' to get those little things that you really 'need' - but don't really need - if you get my drift.

So, I'm staying at home - still doing the home educating thing (which is a nightmare) but luckily the Local Authority have finally agreed to provide a tutor - who comes in for ten hours per week, which then gives me time to get things sorted out - although I can't leave the house as the tutor can't be left alone with KC, safeguarding... such fun...

I would have thought we would have KC placed in a special school by now - but we are still waiting for the powers that be to finalise decisions. Referrals have been made, reports issued but four months on he is still officially 'a child not in education'. But we keep smiling and keep plodding on.

He is desperate to go back to school - if only to meet other kids of the same age - its so hard for him, he wants to socialise but then gets it all wrong and ends up alone, or worse, blamed for everything that goes wrong - he's no angel, but its not always his fault.... is it?

Now we have been assigned a course in Non Violent Reaction (NVR) - apparently they are amazing and I'm quite looking forward to it. But now the boys are bigger they seem to be constantly trying to kill each other - the Christmas holidays seemed to go on forever. So we need more tools in our parenting box other than shouting and sending to the room to think about things - after all what kids actually goes to their room to think about things - I know I never did...

But TJ has gone back to school now - although we have a slight issue in that he is at a small private school - he couldn't cope with a large school and his issues aren't seen as 'major' enough to grant him a place in a special school - but budgeting means we may have to look at how we pay for his school. Luckily he gets some allowances from the government and we have applied for an adoption allowance for him - but I worry. Still it was our decision to place him there - not his. Am I whinging? I don't know - today seems like a stream of consciousness... The local authority have agreed to assess TJ for his EHC Plan (which KC already has) - which could then enable him to go to a specialist school as well - but then I wonder if its all worth it.

Maybe once KC is back in school I can attempt to find another job - even a part time one. What happened to all my career plans - the words back-burner spring to mind.

Adoption really does change your life forever.

I'm in a process of re-evaluation - which can't be a bad thing...

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