The Celebration Hearing and Hallowe'en

Yes, it's been six weeks but finally I have normal Internet access... Everything works again, computer, iPad, iPhone... The lot. I never thought I would be so happy about anything that concerns technology. But I am. Now I can get that assignment in for my psychology degree by next Sunday... Oh, and complete my blog of course!

It's been a busy few days. We had our first Halloween in our new home and this year Papa took the children out begging door to door... Or trick or treating as it is apparently known. I was suitably equipped at home with huge amounts of sweets. I wanted to give out tangerines with pumpkin faces drawn on them as I had seen made on one very worthy tv programme, thus not subjecting the little darlings to tooth decay. However, I opted for the usual bumper pack of haribo as I didn't want to be known locally as the  'mean one who gives out fruit'..... So I dished out small packs of sweets to a seemingly endless parade of poorly dressed ghosts and ghouls... And to the bunch of teenagers who were obviously hoping for a cash option. Then the kids eventually returned clutching their carrot baskets ( I recycled their Easter baskets by cutting the green leaves off) I told the kids they were long pumpkins from Asia... They accepted that explanation. Their baskets were brimming with Cadbury celebrations, haribo packs and.... An orange with a scary pumpkin face painted on.... Apparently it was from one of our immediate neighbours. Papa was really impressed and the kids loved them and actually ate it first ignoring the sweets. I smiled but inside I was fuming....next year I am doing comedy fruit as well!!!

We had Granny staying with us for the week, which was lovely. She even kept the boys overnight whilst Papa and I went to a friend's civil partnership. We stayed in a hotel for the first time since the children arrived... I worried for about twenty minutes, then we realised we had no Internet and no phone reception, so we wouldn't even know if anything untoward happened. I drove back into civilisation the next day expecting my phone to light up the minute we regained reception. But nothing. We got home where Mum told us they had been angels... Helpful, going to bed on time, no problem... Either my mother was lying to protect the kids, or she locked them away all night, or they were really as angelic as she claimed. If that's the case then I am booking for a week next time....

Finally on Friday we had our celebration hearing at court for the adoption. This is a happy day where the children and friends and family are invited to go to court and the judge makes a show of presenting the adoption certificates and announcing the adoption as official. We were all a bit nervous and TJ decided to choose that day to throw up everything he had ever eaten. It was obviously nerves, after all his concept of court has been warped by constant trips to prison for the members of his birth family. He was convinced the judge might send us away. But in the end it was lovely. The judge allowed the children to sit at the big desk, to go into her chambers and try on her wig. She even gave them a lovely card and cupcakes. They were thrilled and can't wait to go back to school and tell their friends all about it. My best friend sat there in floods of tears, which was inconsiderate as I had invited her to take the pictures....

We then went to lunch with our friends and family and had a fantastic afternoon which culminated in the kids adopting their own bunnies.... More about them tomorrow.....

Adoption Day!

It finally happened.

Yes, we got the Adoption Order and the children officially became ours and now we all share the same surname.

However, as always, it wasn't that smooth a day - which part of this adoption has been smooth? One day I'll write a book about the reality behind Relative Strangers, because adoption is not an easy journey and despite there being so many children out there who need parents and stability the entire adoption system is set up to place as many obstacles as possible in the way of the adopters.

At the last minute the social workers and their lawyers called me to tell me they were going to apply for yet another adjourment of the final hearing. This is because we have an ongoing complaint about the way in which the children were placed with us with no support or help and a myriad of failings on the part of the social services. This has all been upheld in the complaints proceedings although the council in question will not address it. So now we have an investigation from the Local Government Ombudsman as well as by our MP. Its all very dramatic.

The upshot is they wanted to adjourn the hearing based on a single line in the Post Adoption Support agreement that the Ombudsman had asked to be included - basically, stating that the council will have to consider the Ombudsman's findings. Without this line we would be signing away our rights to question any financial assistance in the future.

Well, the judge agreed to adjourn, until 2pm the same day to allow me to get up there (we are a long way from the court) and give my side of the story. I organised emergency childcare - jumped in the car and off I went. I sat in a court room and explained our reasons for the 'one line clause', I showed the judge the letter from the Ombudsman also requesting the clause. Then the social services lawyer proceeded to rip into me, saying we were not committed to the adoption, we were only interested in the finances, not in the best interest of the children, that we were asking for a clause to go in that would be based on future findings that are unknown and therefore were being unreasonable.

I sat there with my mouth open. I can honestly say I was stunned.

Then the judge replied and, I think I am ok in saying this, he seemed furious. He told them that we had every right to ask for this simple clause, the Ombudsman had requested it and that the council were bound by law to consider it, so by asking it to be removed showed they were planning on getting us to sign off and then washing their hands of us (or words to that effect in legal terms). He was not sympathetic to the council and if they were bringing up finances then that was their issue and not ours. As to the best interest of the children, well, it would not be served by waiting months for a legal enquiry and it was in their best interests to grant the adoption order.

Well, that was it - the order was granted. The judge went on to thank me for coming and clarifying my position. That was it. A five hour round trip for a ten minute session where I was horribly abused and then given the best news ever!

We told the children that evening.

KC knew something was up as I was 'dressed in boring clothes', obviously I didn't go to court in my best Carmen Miranda hat, and he knew it was the adoption. "Are we now adopted, " he asked. "Yes you are," Papa told her, "That's it we are a forever family!" KC came in for a big hug... TJ sat there looking at us with his mouth open... "Do we get a toy now?" he asked... I think the complexities of the adoption system of the UK may have gone above my 6 years old's head... Yes, I can finally say that... 'My 6 year old!'