Well, we have eased the boys gently into the festive season.
This weekend saw the Sprog's 9th birthday - and we have agreed that, as both boys are December babies, we will get the tree and house decorated on or just before Sprog's birthday and then it will all be up for TJ's birthday, which is just after Christmas - so we are celebrating their birthdays along with Jesus's.
So last week whilst Sprog was at his Drama group (with the impossibly cheerful drama teacher) TJ and I went to choose a tree. At first he didn't want to. I heard every excuse - 'its not Christmas!' "I dont want a tree!' and "Why are we here?" - the last question was going to take a long time to answer so we decided to get a tree.
We unwrapped the lovely real trees - which TJ loved doing and watched the staff get upset as they realised they would have to wrap them up again. TJ selected the tiniest tree I have ever seen - his theory being that as it was so small no-one would want it. Psychologists will all point out that he was probably making a comment about himself - but I chose not to dwell on that - I was in full tree buying mode!
He then switched to looking at the biggest tree he could find and we eventually came home with a tree that practically takes up half the living room.
That evening we stood the tree in situ in the living room - with no decorations - just a bare tree in a bucket of water - apparently this is good for the tree but it also allowed TJ time to get used to the idea of a tree in the house. Then on Friday I allowed the boys to decorate the tree themselves. Papa and I put on the lights and got the decorations down from the loft - then we let the boys loose.
As Papa will tell you we are typically gay in that our tree is always immaculate - we alternate between a modern festive tree in pure white and crystal and a traditional Victorian tree with wooden ornaments. But this year the tree is so big we simply don't have enough ornaments - so the boys decided to put everything on. By the end the lower branches were covered with stuff and the higher ones were bare - so after the boys went to bed we re-arranged some of it. Never do that with a child who 'sees the world differently'. As soon as TJ got up he pointed out each decoration that had been moved and then moved it back... so now my tree looks like the decoration box simply exploded over it!
But - they love it - and thats the main thing!!!!!!
This morning as TJ opened his advent calendar - chocolate for breakfast is his idea of heaven. As he did so I said, "Are you going to give a bit of chocolate to your old Dad then?"
He looked at me stunned - his face froze - and he simply said, "I don't want to see my old Dad - is he coming?"
He had completely misunderstood me, "I meant me," I explained, "I'm your 'old' Dad."
"No," he said, "You're my new Dad."
He has been with us for nearly three years now - yet I am still his 'new Dad'.
Oh well - at least I am his Dad!
And this morning I heard the best thing - he was getting ready for school and singing a Christmas Carol, 'Away in a Manger' - it was the most beautiful thing I have heard... finally he is getting into Christmas....
This weekend saw the Sprog's 9th birthday - and we have agreed that, as both boys are December babies, we will get the tree and house decorated on or just before Sprog's birthday and then it will all be up for TJ's birthday, which is just after Christmas - so we are celebrating their birthdays along with Jesus's.
So last week whilst Sprog was at his Drama group (with the impossibly cheerful drama teacher) TJ and I went to choose a tree. At first he didn't want to. I heard every excuse - 'its not Christmas!' "I dont want a tree!' and "Why are we here?" - the last question was going to take a long time to answer so we decided to get a tree.
We unwrapped the lovely real trees - which TJ loved doing and watched the staff get upset as they realised they would have to wrap them up again. TJ selected the tiniest tree I have ever seen - his theory being that as it was so small no-one would want it. Psychologists will all point out that he was probably making a comment about himself - but I chose not to dwell on that - I was in full tree buying mode!
He then switched to looking at the biggest tree he could find and we eventually came home with a tree that practically takes up half the living room.
That evening we stood the tree in situ in the living room - with no decorations - just a bare tree in a bucket of water - apparently this is good for the tree but it also allowed TJ time to get used to the idea of a tree in the house. Then on Friday I allowed the boys to decorate the tree themselves. Papa and I put on the lights and got the decorations down from the loft - then we let the boys loose.
As Papa will tell you we are typically gay in that our tree is always immaculate - we alternate between a modern festive tree in pure white and crystal and a traditional Victorian tree with wooden ornaments. But this year the tree is so big we simply don't have enough ornaments - so the boys decided to put everything on. By the end the lower branches were covered with stuff and the higher ones were bare - so after the boys went to bed we re-arranged some of it. Never do that with a child who 'sees the world differently'. As soon as TJ got up he pointed out each decoration that had been moved and then moved it back... so now my tree looks like the decoration box simply exploded over it!
But - they love it - and thats the main thing!!!!!!
This morning as TJ opened his advent calendar - chocolate for breakfast is his idea of heaven. As he did so I said, "Are you going to give a bit of chocolate to your old Dad then?"
He looked at me stunned - his face froze - and he simply said, "I don't want to see my old Dad - is he coming?"
He had completely misunderstood me, "I meant me," I explained, "I'm your 'old' Dad."
"No," he said, "You're my new Dad."
He has been with us for nearly three years now - yet I am still his 'new Dad'.
Oh well - at least I am his Dad!
And this morning I heard the best thing - he was getting ready for school and singing a Christmas Carol, 'Away in a Manger' - it was the most beautiful thing I have heard... finally he is getting into Christmas....
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