Wow! It's been over a month since my last post and I wish I was teeming with positive stuff to write. But, alas, it's just not to be.
I'm looking for the positives wherever they may be - but today they just seem to have flown away, sitting just out of reach.
The last few weeks of term have been really difficult - I know adopted children often find this time of year hard but for my two it just seems to have been more difficult than ever.
KC has managed to get himself into a mountain of trouble resulting in a formal written warning and a probationary period of six months - which I find excessive and unfair - but I'll come to that later.
TJ, on the other hand has made himself so ill that he simply could not go to school for the final few days - which, on hindsight, was probably a good thing as he doesn't cope with goodbyes at all and this was his final year at primary school before he takes that huge step into secondary.
So I'm now in he process of looking for a new school for KC before he moves into year 8 - today emails have been written to his post adoption social worker and to his SEN co-ordinator, who issue his EHC Plan - its all very complicated but we will get there - my feeling is that there inso way he will make it through the next school term without losing his probation - and he will be out. His 'crimes' chewing gum and farting in class - I kid you not. In my opinion it's obvious the school want him out - they can't cope with his needs so its easier to get rid of him and use behaviour as the excuse. to be honest, he is probably better off out and I've found an amazing school nearby - but now have to go through the paperwork of changing the EHC Plan - which is funded by the local authority in order to get him into the other school. It's a headache I could do without.
TJ on the other hand, is thriving at the same school and wants to go into the senior school with his friends - it seems the strict rules of the current school suit him - he thrives on it. And, at least with my still working there I can keep an eye on him.
Maybe its good for KC to go to another school away from me and TJ - learn some independence. I just don't know...
We are three days into the school holiday and already the boys are 'bored, bored, bored' - I have six weeks of this. I just spoke to my lovely (and very wise aunt) who informed me that its good for boy's to get bored - they then invent their own play." Unfortunately, my two's idea of play is attempting to kill each other at any opportunity.
But I have taken up a new exercise regime - I'm power walking (I'm too fat to jog!) - but I'm enjoying it and it gets me outside and away from the kids. We went to the park together yesterday, KC threw TJ's ball up a tree and we spent most of the afternoon trying to get it down whilst TJ screamed, the dogs barked and KC roared with laughter... I could feel the pity from emanating from the other parents around me... they were so glad not to be me.
I do think there is a kind of reverse sexism which means that people are more likely to feel sorry for me in situations like this because I'm a dad - if I were a mum they wold probably be judging my every move disapprovingly - as a dad i get knowing smiles and sympathetic nods...
So my quiet summer is already over - no wonder parents drink so much - I'm avoiding the booze too... which probably makes everything seem ten times worse.
I'll keep you updated on my progress!!!!!!
I'm looking for the positives wherever they may be - but today they just seem to have flown away, sitting just out of reach.
The last few weeks of term have been really difficult - I know adopted children often find this time of year hard but for my two it just seems to have been more difficult than ever.
KC has managed to get himself into a mountain of trouble resulting in a formal written warning and a probationary period of six months - which I find excessive and unfair - but I'll come to that later.
TJ, on the other hand has made himself so ill that he simply could not go to school for the final few days - which, on hindsight, was probably a good thing as he doesn't cope with goodbyes at all and this was his final year at primary school before he takes that huge step into secondary.
So I'm now in he process of looking for a new school for KC before he moves into year 8 - today emails have been written to his post adoption social worker and to his SEN co-ordinator, who issue his EHC Plan - its all very complicated but we will get there - my feeling is that there inso way he will make it through the next school term without losing his probation - and he will be out. His 'crimes' chewing gum and farting in class - I kid you not. In my opinion it's obvious the school want him out - they can't cope with his needs so its easier to get rid of him and use behaviour as the excuse. to be honest, he is probably better off out and I've found an amazing school nearby - but now have to go through the paperwork of changing the EHC Plan - which is funded by the local authority in order to get him into the other school. It's a headache I could do without.
TJ on the other hand, is thriving at the same school and wants to go into the senior school with his friends - it seems the strict rules of the current school suit him - he thrives on it. And, at least with my still working there I can keep an eye on him.
Maybe its good for KC to go to another school away from me and TJ - learn some independence. I just don't know...
We are three days into the school holiday and already the boys are 'bored, bored, bored' - I have six weeks of this. I just spoke to my lovely (and very wise aunt) who informed me that its good for boy's to get bored - they then invent their own play." Unfortunately, my two's idea of play is attempting to kill each other at any opportunity.
But I have taken up a new exercise regime - I'm power walking (I'm too fat to jog!) - but I'm enjoying it and it gets me outside and away from the kids. We went to the park together yesterday, KC threw TJ's ball up a tree and we spent most of the afternoon trying to get it down whilst TJ screamed, the dogs barked and KC roared with laughter... I could feel the pity from emanating from the other parents around me... they were so glad not to be me.
I do think there is a kind of reverse sexism which means that people are more likely to feel sorry for me in situations like this because I'm a dad - if I were a mum they wold probably be judging my every move disapprovingly - as a dad i get knowing smiles and sympathetic nods...
So my quiet summer is already over - no wonder parents drink so much - I'm avoiding the booze too... which probably makes everything seem ten times worse.
I'll keep you updated on my progress!!!!!!
