Yes, it's here, the last week of the long Summer holidays...
It probably seems as though I have hated every minute, which really isn't true. We have had a lot of fun, going to Grannies, watching the Olympics, even losing the cat and finding him again.
Yes, our prodigal cat returned yesterday, he is a little thinner but no worse for his adventures. When I told my Mother that the cat had returned she was thrilled, now she didn't have to replace the animal. In case you missed it the cat was chased out of his own house by my Mother's ASBO dog. At the time we had agreed that the said dog, who also terrorised our own ageing hound, was to be banned from our house. But now the cat was back that little fact seemed to be forgotten. Mum said, "What happens when I come down in October?" (we have finally convinced my Mum that she can babysit the terrible two for a night or so whilst Papa and I go away to a friend's wedding.) "You can put your dog in the kennel, like we agreed." I replied. There was a long silence on the phone.
"I don't want to put my dog in the kennel."
I thought about this. "Mum, " I said firmly, " We agreed, until your dog can behave itself and not terrorise my pets then it can't come here." ... More silence... Then the emotional blackmail was put into good use, "oh, so you don't want me to come and see you then? Obviously, my dog and I aren't welcome." There was a pregnant pause followed by a meaningful sigh, "It's ok we can stay at home by ourselves... I guess we will have to rethink what happens at Christmas as well, I don't know where my dog and I can go now. I don't know where we are wanted."
Great, now I have my Mother in full passive aggressive guilt trip mode....
"That's not what I said, Mum," I replied, "Your dog will be fine in the kennels."
"But it's so expensive." she said, "it would be cheaper for you to put your cat in the cattery"
So my Mum wants me to send the cat away when she visits, to be honest the cat will probably like it, and if we are going down that route, I think our dog would also quite happily give up her basket for a few nights peace and quiet when she knows the ASBO dog is coming.... I might even put the kids in the kennel too, then everyone is happy.
Mum called back later, "I have had an idea," she said, "I will ask your aunt if she can take my dog when I come and see you."
This sounded like a great compromise until I remembered that every other member of our family had also banned the animal after it wreaked havoc across each of their homes.... So I guess I had better book the cat in the cat hotel.... Unless my Aunt reads this and has a sudden change of heart... For my sake Aunty? And the sanity of my pets? Please?